I am not sure how I really feel about this? Is this about me or her? LOL
I am shocked that my baby is 12. That’s a stunner.
I am saying good-bye to one adult/teen and saying hello to another almost teen…..(UGH! Teenage years are so difficult)
I think girls are so much more difficult to raise. The boys are hard in some ways….but far less emotional and quick to forgive. Clarissa not so much. She is going through a stage ( try her whole life) of separating from me..and favoring her dad. But recently we are having some growing pains because Rob has had to recently step up and discipline her because her behavior warrants it. She disrespects me ….and up until recently he doesn’t discipline her. I am Always the BAD guy until she gets out of control then he steps in which isn’t a good pattern. We need to get this reeled in before bad things start happening. For some reason when it comes to her ….he can’t seem to get it together. Probably a combination of things. She’s a girl & the baby. But I will not deal with a diva. It’s just not going to happen.
But setting all of that aside and just celebrating who she is for a moment ( without hormones). Clarissa is a nurturer by nature. she loves to take care of people. It’s her best & worst quality. Meaning she will die to self to help others. Until she learns how to balance that I will forever be worried about her. She has a good heart and loves animals. She is not afraid on them.
She is becoming a book worm …which has taken me a long time to accomplish ..I might add.
I love seeing her grow up in many ways because I get to see how it is to grow up in a way I wished I could grow up-> with loving parents, an older sibling ( in her case 5) a custom bedroom, animals and a life. I get to see her reactions to things that she is learning in the right time….and some that I am not ready for.
She is a good pet keeper. She feeds princess regularly and cleans out her box. Princess loves her….and sleeps with her …and then trades with Rob somewhere in the night. I am not a good co-sleeper with pets.
Clarissa does well in school . She has a few very close friends..but doesn’t branch out to have many friends. Social things are hit & miss with her. She needs down times.
Clarissa is a junk food junkie. I have been feeding all of my kids vegetables since the beginning yet..she seems to want to reject them at every turn. It drives me crazy.
I am crazy amazed at how perceptive she is…how she reads people ….and she is pretty blunt-rude sometimes. Which cracks me up sometimes..other times I am pulling her aside and trying to teach her proper manners. At 12 you would think that should be easy..but I think she has some asberger qualities…..probably from her environment. I don’t think that she actually has it….but she definitely has some quirks.
She does shame very easily. She hates that her face will turn red and betray her ( I remember feeling this too!) She always has to be in control. when she feels out of control she shuts-down and there is no getting to her. Rob hasn’t learned how to deal with that yet…as he is the opposite. When he feels out of control he throws a fit….so he will push her until she throws a fit because that is what he understands. it’s a hot mess. I melt down too..so I know she needs down time…..but she doesn’t listen to me. So….I guess they will have to figure this out.
She decided ballet wasn’t for her anymore. But she is not an athlete..she gets that from me. Poor girl. So she is in an in-between stage. trying to figure out who she is and what she wants to do. I think as painful as it is for her ..it’s just as painful for parents because this is not something we can really help with. We can only be there to support, hug & hold. She also told me I need to hug her less. LOL That will never stop…..all kids go through this….but I am going to just hold on that much tighter. She doesn’t know me very well.
She is really clumsy and awkward right now. She loves flowers and gardens. Well last summer she was looking at flowers while riding her bike and ran into a HUGE parked Red truck on our block…not once-> but twice. This has become a family story that gets repeated on a daily basis (almost) ->It was traumatic at the time because she came home crying and bleeding both times. Bryce went & got her bike. Our neighbors that own the truck even came by asking if she was OK..so add insult to injury other people saw it…LOL. Poor thing. So she is learning how to control her body a bit more…the changes going on are causing some issues…..so we tease her about putting gear on to ride her bike. She laughs about it now too. She till loves flower gazing even though it has caused her trauma.
This is such an incredibly difficult stage.
She is always a willing helper in the kitchen. She will make things she likes…:) so if I need something done I can ask her. She likes to try different things…..which is always a good thing. Even though her dad hates seafood she loves it….and she isn’t real picky about it.
In fact when she was little (about 2.5) I would make fresh trout & salmon for the kids. One time I went shopping with a friend and we stopped at Skippers for lunch and I ordered a fish & chips meal for Roo….she got it and picked up a fish nugget and turned it all around & looked at my friend and said “Where’s the head?” LOL she was not convinced I had actually ordered her fish. She wanted fresh fish. haha! That story always cracks me up.
The boys have convinced her that she will never be able to have a boyfriend. They talk about this on a daily basis that they will beat up any kid that comes around…and nobody will be liked so she should never try. LOL Any poor guy that comes around will have to deal with 4 older brothers that have honestly protected her …her whole life. She believes them….for now anyway. It’s a small community and I think everyone knows.
Well I am not sure when we will have her party it is on hold for now.
But I am thankful I got to have a daughter and that she is healthy. I am hoping things don’t get to traumatic with all of her hormones & changes. Raising teens is no easy business.