Happy Father’s Day
Well I just want to say HAPPY Father’s Day to the father’s that are actually Father’s or dad’s. I especially want to say a Happy father’s day and honor my Heavenly father.
I actually view father’s day differently than Mother’s day Oddly enough. I didn’t have an earthly father..I mean there was the guy who helped in the creating of me on a drunken night I suppose…and then there were the several men my mother brought into my life…drug dealers, abusers and such. Nobody I would consider calling or honoring. If I still had grandfathers I would call them..and honor them of course. They were the only men in my life I feel loved me on a healthy level. I didn’t have the expectations of a Father..so I don’t know that I was hurt or let down as badly as I was with my bio-mother.
I feel blessed that I chose differently for my own children. Despite the fact that I am divorced and rasing my children with two men..they are “REAL” Fathers. They step up..in all ways to raise up these kids. None of us are perfect; we all have faults ..but we all love eachother and have a single purpose: to raise happy healthy kids. So yes I did choose decent fathers for my children. I just need a short trip two hours to my hometown to see what my life would otherwise be like ( my Bio-mom, my sister, my brother)… I have to say by far..me, my kids and my Dh are far healthier with better lives and brighter futures. It’s a sad thing{for them}. But I credit it all to my heavenly Father.
I learned early on about my heavenly father. The one who loves me unconditionally, protects me and welcomed me into his life..in fact he created me..he lives within me. I cried during several worship songs today. It’s not an uncommon thing for me…but it’s such a profound thing…to think about how much he loves me. What he saved me from…what he still protects me from..all the things I don’t evn know or comprehend….mind boggling.
Today our Pastor had the day off…it’s his first father’s day ..so his wife wanted to honor him and talk about A father’s role in a family and in a child’s life. I have taken so many classes…I see the worldy stats…and I know…the talk really could have been given for any parent..we all have strengths and weakness’…and Yes, Men and women are different..we have different roles..both equally important. Then she made certificates…{resolutions}. like the guys in “Courageous” made..and had the Father’s all come up and take the oath. I think it was sweet. I knee’d Rob ..cause that’s just what I {we} do..he mumbled something under his breathe..that I didn’t get…and walked up. I thought he was saying he didn’t want to go up…..but later he said he just didn’t want me kneeing him…but he nudges me all the time when I don’t want to do something..and sometimes I have to do that ..just so he knows “Social Protocal” He needs help with that alot..LOL
But our Heavenly father really is the example that we need for an earthly father..some who loves us unconditionally, corrects us lovingly, stretches us to our abilities, protects, serves and withstands. He is our example as any parent..and he accepts us..flaws and all. He sees no flaws. He sees our heart ..our true selves…I feel like that with kids…Of course I have my bad days when I think my kid is going to grow up and be in prison and I have done everything wrong….but even if one made it there..honestly..I would still love them..God doesn’t enable us..he loves us..he blesses us….we are still disciplined…with love. Justice.So those are my feelings today for a fatehr’s day Sermon. It’s never to late to join up with God. Honestly..he’s been waiting for you haven’t yet.
Then after church… it was the big Chili cook-off. I didn’t win….But that’s OK..I was asked for the recipe…plus I think that some of the families voted out of loyalty to their own…and that’s ok..I hope mine didn’t …I didn’t see the final tally…and I forgot to vote myself. I was to busy talking. Shocking…right?
I have heard some rumors about my old church and I don’t ask questions or get involved….cause I don’t really need to know..I love everyone. But I was shocked to see a member of my old church at my new church today. It was nice to see her. I hope she finds a church home regardless of where it is. I honestly feel..we are right where we are supposed to be..God is working in in my family all the time..and it’s nice to see growth…not just in myself..but my children. I had a great converstaion with several today..and encouraged the youth leader..he’s working miracles { God is actuallyworking them ..I know that..but Jacob is a listening and being used) in my boys..and I apprecaite that. He gave me a huge compliment…He just lost his mom. His mom touched many people with her Christian love….I think we have all felt her loss. I had only met her breifly because she has been sick the whole time I have been to that church. Jacob said I reminded him of his mom..and he just knows that I am the Rock for my boys and they are going to love me when they are adults. LOL That made me feel good. That’s a huge compliment.
I focus so much on my boys right now because they are teens..and they need so much guidance..Clarissa is getting there…her and I are close ..and I can read her like a book…I know I only have a few years and she will hate me…like most teens. Jeri is in her last year of high school..and our relationship is different. She has reactive attachment disorder…you can google that if you don’t know what it is..but she doesn’t form healthy attachments to people..and I love her very much..and I work with her all the time….But until she understands her own issues..{which will take lots of heartache} she doesn’t have very much growth or growth opportunities..she doesn’t let herself. She can’t take that leap of faith to know that God loves her unconditionally. She will always be looking for unhealthy love in unhealthy ways..I suspect until she is burned enough times to want something different for herself…that won’t change. So I just try to guide and direct her to the best of my abilities. The boys have had healthy attachments (me) and they are more willing to “trust’ …..in lots of good things.
I hope you all say a little praise to God today..he deserves it! Thanks! Many Blessings! I love GOD!