My grandma has passed away.
I don’t have the adequate words for once in my life.
I just lost my last grandparent. I just lost one of the only people who stood up for me as a child. I just lost a person who I could confide in and she accepted and loved me. I went to her when I was 16 and told her about the severe abuse that I had experienced and she cried with me and just loved on me. She believed me. When my family moved back to WA– I was in the 8th grade and once I learned how to drive ect I spent a ton of time with my grandma.
In my early 20’s when I got divorced and was a single mom…my grandma was my best friend. We did so many things together. She helped me heal through that.
When I married Rob we stayed the night at her house the night before and she was the biggest supporter. She loved that I had all of these kids and she told me that one day I would miss all of the chaos. I was supposed to enjoy it. She was right. She would put on a show for my kids and make them laugh. If you bring up grandma to them now they will chuckle because she went out of her way to make them laugh.
She wasn’t a conventional grandmother. I accepted that, just as she had accepted me. She was more of a wild woman never following rules. I am a rule follower by nature. We balanced each other out a little. She was more of a fighter and wouldn’t take nonsense from anyone. She was a good person to have in your corner. LOL! She always told me “Only the good die young, I will live forever” ….I believed her. It’s still hard to absorb.
My grandma shared so much with me. There was never anything off limits. I could ask her anything and she would tell me her stories. I know the good bad and the ugly. She wanted me to learn from her. I loved that. When I took care of her after a heart attack and stroke a few years ago..I would stay by her bedside and when she would wake up, we would play a question game. We couldn’t do much because she was paralyzed and blind on one side. So talking and sharing was the best use of our time. She would ask me a question like “what is your favorite memory” and then we would both answer. Then I would ask her a question…mostly about her childhood, being a mom, something happy to make her think and recall something good to focus on. I feel like I have many stories to pass on.
I ended up flying her to Florida to live with my Aunt. I packed up her house and she started a new chapter in a new state. It was sad to do that. It was the house she built, raised her family and it was the one place that seemed to be “home” for everyone.
I have so many memories. Times shared. Words of wisdom ..even if it was her warning me not to be like her. There is no way to write it all in a blog post. There is no way I can express the loss that I feel.
Even as a a grown woman with children when I went to visit her she would serve me fruit juice in a glass with a straw. LOL! She would always make me a pan of my favorite layer dip and she would share her latest shopping deals. She loved shopping…especially if she could find a good deal. I am not so much a shopper anymore. I think after cleaning out a few houses of people who collect stuff….I have been cured. haha! Less is more. Less is more. I have so much stuff already. I keep trying to get rid of stuff.
I think about how she worked to get to America. It was an unconventional way. But she got here, legally. She was so proud to be here. She always missed home (Iceland)…but it was a badge of honor to her family that she made it to America. They thought her life was perfect– simply because she lived here. It wasn’t a bed of roses…but until the end my grandma was causing trouble at her assisted living facility because she was supposed to have FREEDOM in America. LOL! She didn’t like anyone telling her what to do. I chuckle at that because they were just doing their job….but she was fighting the good fight for all of us. Fighting for freedom.
She loved music. Elvis was her number one heartthrob and singer. She said if she could have learned something in her life she would have learned to play the piano. She loved piano music. Liberache was her favorite. We had to listen to him every Christmas. One year she gave us all CD’s to carry on the tradition. She thought the world of him and his elaborate costumes ect. We also loved crooner music. Her and I loved Michael Buble but also Frank Sinatra and the rat pack. Whenever I hear “I did it my way” I think of my grandma…..because she did everything her way.
I could go on and on. She will forever be a part of my heart, My story, my life. Some bonds will never be broken. NO matter our distance.
I love you forever and always Grandma.