Jeri’s New Car

Categories: UncategorizedBy Published On: March 16, 201328.1 min read612 words0 Comments

Jeri got a car. Rob and I didn’t buy it. Her bio-mom bought it.IMG_4462 IMG_4465

Rob & I are the parents that believe things should be earned not given. Jeri doesn’t get good grades, she is disrespectful and she doesn’t have a good work ethic. I believe she can do all of these things- she’s fully capable. I believe she works below her potential because someone will always give her what she wants ( and so far in her life that has ALWAYS happened). I am glad that {at least} on the other side of our parental tree ( Landon & Jordan) agree with Rob & I. They will not just give the boys a car…or front them a car and expect them to pay for it later. I don’t agree with this in any, way shape or form because kids need to earn things themselves. They need to know what it’s like so they can carry this out in their lives.  Jeri is 18 and has no responsibility…nor does she want it. She is going into her adult life without the skills she needs to survive because of these things. But none of this is in my control….so I will just let it be. IMG_4463

Trina asked Rob if he would find the car…because he knows cars…and he will be able to fix them or find the good deal. So we did that. Rob and I will also hand over our  graduation money (gift) to pay for Jeri’s first several months of car insurance. Rob is doing all of the work to make sure the car is safe and driveable. This is one of those things that …as much as I want to celebrate and be happy I just see this destructive pattern ahead because it’s only the beginning. I have been asking Jeri to start looking for a job…How is she going to pay for gas..insurance, phone and all of that? I refuse to enable her…and she has put in 2 applications…she thinks that is actively looking for a job. UGH!IMG_4464

I have been dreading this transition of her leaving and flailing in life…but the closer it gets..I am scared for her. But at the same time I am more than willing to hand over the reigns to Trina( her Bio-mom) and let them sort it all out. I am tired and i need to spend my energy on the other 5. I don’t mean to say I will ever give up or that there is no hope..I don’t want to convey that..I just think my job is done…not forever. It’s just at a season when I am supposed to step away ..let go and let God.  We even had a discussion about holidays..she said she will come home basically if she doesn’t have better plans somewhere else? This is part of her reactive attachment disorder..she is unattached. So not only is this transition difficult in a superficial way….but I have to realize that my family will no longer be together in even a normal sense….or regularly. Sad really. But again..I am not in control..I think God is hammering down this lesson for me. What do you think? IMG_4465-001

 

That’s Carl in the picture with her. He thinks it’s funny to sabotage pictures with funny antics and faces. He has always had the same hair cut ..his whole life. It’s an Aspbergers thing…they don’t like change or transition. However this year we have been growing it out.. I just think he is so cute! But not with that evil face he has on..LOL.

 

 

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