***I started typing this a week ago and I couldn’t finish…for whatever reason*****
I am not really sure where to begin? I could go on about how terrible all of this is….I have so many feelings. Just like everyone else.
I have been trying to carry on as normal ( while following the rules) and put on an act as if it’s all fine. But it isn’t. I am eating like there is no tomorrow. Which is a big clue to me that I am suffering. Not processing my feelings and wanting to numb myself.
I have added some reading material to help me. I decided to add “Don’t Sweat the small Stuff” to my daily reading. I thought that this would be a good time to go through that book again. I need this type of reminder. I still write down 3 things that I am thankful for everyday and my daily bible reading. Thinking that I need to amp that up with a good study.
I am trying to distract myself with work. But that is also a worry of mine. I am a small business. I also happen to be a hobby business. When times are desperate hobbies are the first on the chopping block. So this could wipe out my business. I am praying daily for many things.
But what consumes my mind is my children. They are just starting life, a few just bought homes…they are directly affected by all of this. There is literally nothing I can do or say that will make this better. I can’t put a band-aid on this to make it better. Life is teaching us all lessons. These lessons are more than I could have ever imagined. My teenage daughter lost her first job. The local burger stop closed down. I fear what may happen to all of our locally owned business.’ She is a teenager and doesn’t rely on that income. So it’s not life shattering. But there were people there who did rely on that income. My heart breaks.
All of this has me thinking about connection. Humans were made for connection. No matter how we label ourselves, Introvert or Extroverts, we were all made for connection. I would have labeled myself an extrovert for most of my life. I love people and I get energy from being with people. As I have gotten older and I am surrounded by introverts, I have adopted some of their habits. So I seem to need down time now. I don’t really care about idle chit-chat ect. However, I still like connecting with people. I have always been in my own head. Rainbows and Sunshine…you know me.
During all of this I have been watching and it seems we are all craving and wanting connection. What does connection look like for you normally?
What are we doing now so that we can connect in normal ways? For several years we ( the older generations) have been talking about how technology has killed a certain amount of connection. Now we need technology to help us connect, when we have to practice social distancing. So there is always a positive and negative to everything isn’t there>?
Along with connection many of us like to feel needed. Or that we can actually do something to help the cause, when all we are really feeling is helplessness in the situation. I am not sure about your feeds but mine is stock full of info about making face masks. The quilting community is generous as a whole anyway….but if there is something that we can sew and help a cause…..just ask. We will come to the rescue. Here is a video from a fellow Michael Miller Ambassador, Teresa DownUnder, on how to make a mask.
**check with your local hospitals and agencies to find out the type of fabrics ect that you are supposed to use & what they are requesting. There is a lot of conflicting information out there. So just get your local specs. **
*****************So now I am finishing this post**************************
I don’t know that anything has really changed from my original post. An extra week of Social Distancing hasn’t cleared my head. weird. LOL
I could go on and on about my theories and how I feel about all of this…but is that helpful? I think all of us are bombarded with so much “information” everyday that it’s overwhelming.
What I am really trying to do here, I guess, is get my feelings out. That seems to be a safe and healthy function. I like to know that other people feel what I am feeling so that I am not alone.
connection. I will be thinking about connection in a whole new way from now on. I don’t want to take my friend for granted. Any of my relationships. or will this be a new pattern for everyone. Will other people feel the opposite of what I feel. Will there be people who think they don’t need connection at all? how is all of this going to change our world?
I am not sure. But what I do know is that I really need to start jogging. I need to quit baking breads and making waffles. I need to start treating myself more kind and know that we are all going to make it through this. right?