Regrets?

In The book I am reading called “happy Self” ( I mentioned it before) I came across this last night in my reading.

I am pretty sure I read this before and I am calling myself out on this. I think, I am going to have a few of these regrets.

I have been thinking about this for 24 hours. I am not really sure how to change some of this. I think that I can make lots of excuses as to why I am poor at some of these things. so does that mean I don’t want to change them? If that is the case …why?

I am not really sure I have it all sorted out yet. so I thought I would go through each one and write it out. Sometimes that helps me. But maybe after I write it out maybe some of my wiser friends can help enlighten me.

5. I wish that I would have let myself be happier. I am trying to figure out what happy is. I have realized that THINGS don’t make me happy. I have realized that losing weight didn’t make me happy. Earthly things basically aren’t making me happy. All I can come up with is that inner peace and balance equate to happiness. Is this true? I don’t know. I only have fleeting moments of these things. I haven’t been able to really to achieve some constant level of any of these things. I can tell you that simple things bring me pleasure. Is this happiness>?Walking my dogs. Family dinner. Stitching with a cup of tea. Reading a book. I don’t know? I really want to know what it means to be truly happy. I think I am always trying to get to this …and it escapes me.

4. I wish that I had stayed in touch with my friends. This swallows me whole. I am TERRIBLE about this. From my closest friends to my casual friends. I am a Terrible friend. Honestly…I think it’s because of #2. When someone comes to talk or call me I am usually 100% focused and I will give them my attention. If someone needs me I try to be there. I don’t read minds…so I will need that communicated to me. But honestly I have created this “world” in my head and I get lost in space and time EVERY-SINGLE-DAY. Now that I am not having to take care of 6 children….I spend more time in my head and home that times honestly escapes me and before I know it weeks and months have gone by and I haven’t reached out to anyone. It’s a terrible thing. Then what do you do ? It becomes awkward and I feel bad. I will think about everyone all day long, pray in the mornings and evenings. I have a long list of people that I am always thinking about ….and I get sidetracked. It is nothing personal. I am just a hermit. What a terrible excuse.

3. I wish that I had the courage to express my feelings. So I feel like I have gotten WAY better at this in my life. I have learned who I can and cannot express my feelings to. I mostly surround myself with safe people who know my heart. I feel like I can set healthy boundaries with most people. I have learned in my life that people who don’t respect me, aren’t deserving of my time. So I simply don’t give them my time. I have been called controlling, mean, heartless….yadda-yadda. But at the end of the day I don’t really care about those names. My life is too short to be sacrificing anymore of myself and not expressing myself to achieve a safe environment.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

This one also just got to me. I WORK hard all of the time. Every-day of the week. When I am not working, I am thinking about work. How can I achieve this goal? How can I get this done? How can I learn this next thing? I need to get these 50 tasks done a day. I am in a little bit of a situation on this because I LOVE quilting. It’s my passion. I was able to turn my hobby into a business. So I have to try to keep myself in check. But then on top of that I am hoping to make a business so successful that my husband can be a part of it…so I am trying really hard to make that a reality. But when is it enough ? At some point I need to quilt spinning the wheel and take a breath and relax. I am not sure that’s possible? But I do think about it. I think if I ever did stop it might be a permanent thing. LOL

  1. living a life true to myself and not the expectations of others.

Right? So I honestly think I have gotten way better at this as well. Being true to myself means not being bulldozed. Setting healthy boundaries and knowing myself. I know myself ..most of the time. I have to ask myself all of the time when people in my life are trying to “tell me what to do” or make suggestions on what I should do ect….I ask “How is their life” or “how do they manage this area in their life” …I have learned that getting financial advice from a bank robber probably isn’t the wisest choice. So I have learned to trust myself in most areas. I have managed myself for several years and I have made so many good choices in my life …and I have learned along the way, when I didn’t. If God brings me to it …He will take me through it. That’s my philosophy.

So I guess I have a good handle on 2 out of 5 of these. But the happiness thing…..I need to understand this concept fully….I think it’s a state of “being” and not a fleeting emotion. And I am not sure what exactly it means…Can anyone explain this to me?

So any of you feel like you have a good handle on this? Or when you read this list did it just grab you …?

Lots to think about.

I hope you all have a good day…with no regrets!

xoxox

C

One thought on “Regrets?

  1. I think happiness covers a number of emotions during the day, week, month, year… Being content, delighted, awed, seeing beauty, feeling loved, as well as giving love, passionate, artistic, giving, joy, and more…..lots of things are part of my happy. I don’t know that I could simply define my happy.

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