Merry Christmas to all of you!
It’s been an active busy few days. For those that are new to our traditions….I have a blended family. My family consists of his-mine-ours & somebody else’s. we don’t define those lines within the family…..unless explaining to someone who asks….:)
So I came into my current marriage with 3 boys….Their Dad has been active in their lives and sees them every other weekend and some time in the summer…extra days here & there as time allows. He lives in a town two hours from us…so we have to travel.
He’s been married for several years now to a gal named Jordan. I am thankful for Jordan. For a few reasons. But the first one was because Landon had a psycho girlfriend at one point that made our lives difficult. We couldn’t spend any birthdays or holidays together because she was insecure & we didn’t like her. haha!
But setting all of that aside during the rough years after divorce…pride, hurt and all of that yuckiness clouds judgment. So we fought over little things-big things and whatever else we could fight about. Holidays was one of them. But due to a few key family members passing everything changed….and we needed a change.
After egos had died out and the kids became the main focus of our lives and we committed to family, we made a change. Landon & I started talking and decided it would be best if we all spent the holidays together. He no longer has family obligations. I had none…..and we could have the best of both worlds if we spent it together.
So here are the conditions we set:
1. We rotate every year. Even years at his house. Odd years at my house.
2. All parents buy gifts for all kids. Now Landon & Jordan don’t have any other kids. Just the ones Landon & I share. It would be no fun if my kids watched my 3 boys open several more gifts from my ex & his wife. So either they could tell me what all they were getting so I could compensate the other kids…or they could buy across the board. They decided they wanted to buy gifts for all the kids. They have fun shopping and they like buying gifts.I just didn’t want hurt feelings or resentment.
So this would be our fourth year doing this. It is worth it. We get weird looks from people and I think some people don’t understand it. But I can tell you that it is totally worth it. I get to spend the whole holiday with all of my kids. ( well not this year because my oldest decided she didn’t want to work things out with me). So when we have it at our house Rob’s ex-wife also spends some time with us.
Our Christmas traditions since starting this plan is to have a casual dinner together on Christmas Eve. Then we each have a 15$ white elephant gift exchange…which always involves laughter & fun. Then we play games…and eat & eat & talk & laugh. The kids go to bed late then us adults stuff the stockings…go to bed. The Christmas morning we open presents. We give a limit of 7 am. Clarissa is still young and gets up EARLY out of excitement….but the rest of them are to the age that they like sleep. Then depending on the plans….sometimes we have a big Breakfast and then hang out for Dinner. We have our big Christmas dinner on Christmas day. But I made it early this year and skipped Breakfast that way the travelers could get home early and relax. After a few hectic days I like to be home early and get on the road.
So this year we had the same family. We also had a few special friends join us. It’s always a nice time. My place is cozy but I still think we all have fun. 🙂
I am thankful that we can come together. When people get divorced sometimes we lose sight of what is important. When I made the choice to be a mom I decided they would come first in my life. I think this is evidence of that…it worked out that we adults could work together. If Jordan & Rob had their own agendas this may not have worked even if Landon & I were willing. So I give a lot of credit to our spouses as well for caring enough about our children to make family a priority. They don’t just talk the talk…they walk the walk.
The whole holiday is really about Jesus and his being brought into the world for our salvation. He is evident in our holiday. When people think that we are crazy for staying the night at my ex-husbands house or he & his wife staying the night at our house…
He in so many areas of my life and he is always working in me. I am ever so grateful for HIS gift! The best gift has already been given. So we celebrate in his honor.
THANK YOU JESUS! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! We love you! We honor you!
GLory be to GOD!
Thank you all for all your good will. I really appreciate it!