The First Wednesday of 2012

Hi Friends,

UGH! This dang blog is so FRUSTRATING!

I can’t tell you how many times I have tried posting this post and no matter how many times I keep saving it as I type it won’t save it.

I am a horrible typist..LOL so I misspell everything and I have to go back which means I spend a lot of time in the post and it erases everything……I am calm..deep breaths..starting over!

OK ….

Well crumbs for today.

Virginia came over to quilt today,,,which was really nice. I like having the company because I work alone most of the time.. when I have company the day goes by faster. That’s always a good thing.

Rob is taking the kids to Newport tomorrow for a long weekend with his family. They are going to have Christmas and they also need the kids to do some labor around the house. They are building their dream home in the forest…It’s beautiful. They feed the kids well…plus they get presents they are excited to go..the best present is they get to skip a day of school. YAY!

I am staying home..because I need to get organized..I need to make about 12 DJ blocks before my opening class so I can teach the class….and I want to get all my customer quilt finished up by Monday before the next rush comes in. Plus we didn’t ask anyone to watch our dogs…It’s a good thing for me not to have the distractions.

I have been so relaxed and having a great time working on some of my quilts. I made myself finish two customer quilts today and then I pinned on one of my own….I thought I could get it finished pretty quickly…I don’t know what I was thinking? I will post it tomorrow…I am hoping that over night I will have fresh eyes and I will like it? I am glad I experimented on my own quilt rather than someone elses’ HA!
With this new outlook of being content….My inbox will never be empty. There is always going to be some obstacles in my life…and I can create 20 million deadlines for myself….I can conquer all of these big things …and still find something else I need to do. I realized before Christmas ( with the help of my therapist) that I am actually living my dream life. This is the dream for me. I am not famous…I am not rich..I am not successful on wall-street. By many standards I maybe not have lofty goals. But I am content with where I am. I dreamed for a “normal” life as a kid. I know “normal” is defined differently by so many.
But my normal is healthy happy children, Healthy happy marriage, going to church on Sundays ( it’s actually having a relationship with God that counts) , working a normal job….living in a STABLE environment…sure I could want more things?? but I have come to conclusion that things are just things? Right? Last summer when our house was being threatened with a fire the only thing I was rushing to save after my family and pets were out of danger were quilts and pictures. Nothing else mattered to me.
So externally I am living my dream and I am content with that. I need to quit killing myself to prove that I am worthy of this “normal” dream.

Internally..I am realizing…I am just like everyone else..I am not flawed….therefore….quit hating on myself! LOL WOW! What a relief!

So step by step I am getting there…what a GREAT feeling. My Grandma J always said that the 40’s were the best years of her life. I think it’s true….during our 20’s and 30’s we have so much work to do so so we enjoy that season in our life. I have 6 years to get to my 40’s but if I do all my homework early…heck maybe I can enjoy it more! My kids will be leaving in my 40’s…that doesn’t seem as terrifying anymore. Rob and I have our golf clubs….LOL

Anyway….I hope you all have wonderful Thursday!