Speaking of Dreams……

So I would say I have been busy. I have been…..but dreams are forming and coming together. Slowly but surely.

So I think it’s no secret I have issues with “balance”. Balancing life things like family, work, house, …well pretty much everything.  I am struggling in many areas of my life.

I can list all of the ways in which I am struggling…but that won’t be a good session here. What I am trying to do is prioritize. Figure out on the whole what I want from my life and begin meeting those goals. But there are so many moving pieces to the puzzle that it’s hard getting them all aligned.

Lately, on top of having my life out-of-whack in many areas…I was hit with an allergic reaction that left me in a constant state of itching. I honestly felt like I was going to go insane….I only had to go through that for 1.5 days and I wondered how people with chronic issues handle that day in and day out.  I immediately felt grateful that I have good health. I need to start taking care of my body again.

We have taken up Kayaking.

This is Roo and Elvis. We would like to eventually take our other dogs ….but they are much heavier and there are weight limits on kayaks. So it will take time to train them and figure it out. But Elvis is small enough and he loves it. He loves to swim but he doesn’t like taking a bath…silly dog. He is so funny because if anyone sees him or talks to him he will jump out…go swim to them for some attention and come back to us to get back in the kayak. Or if he sees me snacking on something he will jump out and swim to me to get a snack from me. :)

Here are some photos from one of our trips:

So it is no secret that I dislike the area that I live in…it’s hot, dry, desert, no trees…..and I really want to live in the trees again. I would like a cooler climate.  But there are many lakes here and it’s only a 15 minute drive to plop in our kayaks and go for a paddle. So I do appreciate that.  I like that there is no cell service. We have to be in the moment and we just get to enjoy everything around us. It’s good exercise and it gets me outside…with my family. The 3 of us are all that is left….and I am tying to enjoy as much of it as I can.

Everything in our lives is kind of in limbo. So I am just asking for prayers. Rob’s health…. again. There is a local job that he applied for and it would be a significant raise with great benefits. It would be good to have on his resume and they sent him a response after he applied stating that he met the requirements. Apparently, it takes months to get hired on at this place…all of the locals are telling me this…so we wait. Semi-patiently. If not back to college in the fall.

Our other plan is to list our house again and move 4 hours away to a place we both love. Pay off all of our debts and find a modest house …and try to just live off of quilting. This will really be a stretch…because we can’t afford health insurance….with my current income. So that means expanding the business. Which as anyone knows, in any business, takes time. So making that sort of leap is very stressful to me and it would be a complete leap of faith.  So I am waiting to see where God is leading us….but it is stressful none the less.  I would just like to know what the plan is So We can get into action.

We are working on our house as well. Whether or not we list it there is always things to do. Slowly but surely I have been going through closets, cupboards ect trying to get rid of stuff and simplify. Rob had to go through our outdoor shed last weekend….a few trips to good will, the dump and home depot to get organized and it’s finally finished. It’s so funny how we accumulate things.Especially, considering I feel like I am constantly donating stuff and dropping stuff off at goodwill. But we had a lot of people here and now that they are gone, we are cleaning out lots of stuff we don’t need anymore.

I am trying to start a line of patterns. It’s rewarding and frustrating. My brain is sunshine and rainbows. I can design all day & night. I can sew like a mad woman to make samples. But writing out the technical part and making diagrams is a struggle. So it’s slow going. I am technology challenged and learning everything is a HUGE struggle for me. I am hoping to get a technical writer that I can work with. ( maybe a few) I am doubting that it will actually happen for me…because I don’t retain the info that I learn. It just doesn’t stick in there. But a few of my designs are being picked up by magazines…so I at least know that I have something to offer…..they write the patterns for their issue. So I just have to submit my design and  a sample. So that part is nice.

Who knows….? I am not sure exactly where my life is going….what is happening. I would like to say I am rolling with it. But I am not….I am a hot mess trying to figure out where to put my energy. It’s so strange for me to be in this situation. I am usually patient and wait for God…but this time seems more difficult for me. I am not sure why? I think the devil is just attacking me at every turn, physically, emotionally and spiritually. It seems like everything I do or touch is a wreck and I am trying to just figure it all out.

Roo and I did go on a vacation. We went to Vegas in July. Which is crazy town. In more than one way. I will never go to Vegas in July again. Can we say heat rash? LOL WOW! I hate the heat and that was brutal…just walking from hotel to hotel …I thought, I was going to explode.  We really went to meet up with family. We have several family members that live there….and we went for like a reunion. I got to see my brother, Aaron and his wife for a few days. I spent time with the other side of my family. Met new friends and had a great time.

Roo and I also did a few fun things while in Vegas. We rode in a helicopter, saw a Michael Jackson impersonator ( we both love MJ) and shopped, ate, and went to Tournament of Kings and Zip lining over freemont. We did a few other things as well. But Roo is an introvert and after about 2 days she didn’t want to “people’ anymore. So we had a few rest days in the hotel room getting food in and just relaxing by the pool.  Vegas is vegas. But after you’ve been …it’s not that big of a deal unless you drink, gamble or party. Vegas is stressful for me in many ways.  I was paranoid the whole time making sure we were safe. Roo is a small town girl who trusts everyone. The monks stopped her and she thought they were real. I threw their bracelet at them and told them to leave us alone. I wouldn’t normally have that reaction …but I looked back and she wasn’t there right beside me and I panicked….so I was just kind of reacting from fear. LOL. I look away for a moment and someone has my child and drifting away with her. It stunned me. I also really dislike the religious protestors there. They think they are doing God’s work. Yet, they seemed angry and hateful. I am a Christian and they made me feel uncomfortable. That is not how God works. So it made me sad & irritated. There was lots of things. But you have to take the good with the bad, right? Vegas is a mish-mash of everything.

Here are a few pics of our trip:

Memories with my daughter. She and I don’t always get along. But we are in therapy and we both try. I think for the most part considering she is going in to her sophomore year, we get along well.  We  get along better than I ever did with my mother. Roo and I do a lot together and  we travel well together…even though we do things differently.

So this summer is half over and things are just rolling along. I hope by the time summer is over we have some more questions answered so we can start putting these puzzle pieces together in a way that I can start focusing. I just Pray God gives me the peace in every situation that I will know 100% what all the right answers are and that we do the right things.  So please pray for us. If you aren’t the praying type..send us good Vibes please.

blessings

Charisma