A Grand Adventure August 2024

On Jan 1 we celebrated Christmas with our family. It is our wedding anniversary, and we decided a few years ago that it would be better to just celebrate on that day so we wouldn’t have to work around so many people and dinners etc.

Preston handed me this gift and I opened it and sobbed.

Preston & Savannah got married in September and they immediately wanted to start trying for a baby. They have been together for many years.

This will be our first grand baby.

my heart is so swollen I can hardly contain myself.

within the box was this:

I was so happy in the moment. full of questions, love, pride, hope and gratitude.

But a few days later would be their first appointment that included an ultrasound:

They sent me a video of the little heartbeat. I immediately lost it all.

Everything in me melted and I was so full of gratitude to God for this moment.

The baby is due within a few days of my own birthday in August.

I thought about how in August of 1977 I was born into a horrible situation. I was an unwanted child, my grandparents on both sides literally got into a fight in the labor room when I was trying to come out. It all just started then. As I grew up I was told I was unwanted, I was the beginning of the end, there was something wrong with me etc. I was treated like garbage and given to any abuser for any price.

I was able to escape and raise my own family in a much different environment. I still have/had my scars and they had to live with those. I was paranoid and couldn’t let them learn a lot on their own until they left home. I catered to them to much in certain ways and not others.  All parents can look back and see their mistakes and faults. But my kids always had a stable, loving home and knew that their parents would do anything to protect them.

As I was raising my kids and they left home and started making mistakes while trying to figure themselves out—I asked myself why I sacrificed so much if it was all for nothing? I didn’t want to watch this road. It was far too painful. They all made different mistakes and choices…as we all do.

Preston is my youngest son. He started dating his (now) wife in high school. He has been pretty stable and he learned from his older siblings what paths he didn’t want to take.

He chose a beautiful, kind, smart and faithful woman to be by his side. That is probably the best choice he has made in his life thus far.   Not only that but her family loves him as their own. I feel so much peace that he loves them as much as they love him. I can be sure that when he seeks guidance from them they do so with a pure heart and love for him. Which makes me feel so much gratitude. I know he/they will always be taken care of.

I share all of that to say this new baby born 40+ years later on a day in August of 2024 is coming into a whole different world than I did. This baby is wanted. This baby was planned for, prayed for, and hoped for. This baby will come into a world with 2 loving parents that will cherish, love, protect and guide. This baby will have everything. This baby will be guided by love, faith and hope. This baby will be welcomed and loved by a HUGE amount of uncles, a few aunts, many grandparents and everyone in our circle.

I am *sobbing* because of God’s mighty blessing in my life. I am so full of gratitude. He deserves so much praise. The fact that I get to see that another chain/curse has been broken in my family. All of that sacrifice, protection and hard work that I had to learn along the way…has paid off. This little bundle of joy gets to be raised in a far different way and that was the plan all along. I am so thankful.

My first grandchild….my heart is so swollen. God has been so faithful.

Blessings

Charisma