I know it’s been awhile since I updated you on my Weight Loss Journey (WLJ). I Am down 62 pounds. ( it could be a little bit more by now) ….but I wanted to post at this juncture because it’s my halfway point. I set out to lose 125 pounds. If …er I mean when I lose 125 pounds that would be a comfortable number for me. But it still is not what the charts say I have to weigh. I would need to lose an additional 20-25 pounds to meet the chart standards. I may feel like that’s a possibility when I get closer….but for now….I am just keeping my original goal.
So let’s see…..I had a closet full of jeans & pants at the beginning of this WLJ and now it’s pretty bare. I had 3 different sizes of jeans. I am in the smallest size I own and I will come out of those soon. The pounds have been coming off slower lately…..I am not freaking out because it’s just part of the process. But I do recognize that my body is changing…..:) That’s the good part.
I have been walking pretty much every day…..and trying to challenge myself. I downloaded an app on my phone to start doing full body work outs. They start at 7.5 minutes. Ummmm….I did one and was sore for 2 days. That’s how far out of shape I have been. So I am just going to keep making progress. It’s sad because a few years ago I could have jumped into a 30 minute workout and it wouldn’t have been a big deal. I did it all of the time. Now everything is W-O-R-K! But it would have been much harder 62 pounds ago. Maybe not even possible for me.
A ring that I have worn for several years on my right hand is to big. I will resize it when I am at a stable weight. It’s a favorite of mine…..it’s simple and not an expensive ring by any means…..but it was one that I just loved and it’s become me. So I did buy a new adjustable ring to wear during this journey. It’s funny how little things pop up during these changes.
I am also trying to get my family on board to eat better. That is still really a struggle. I make them crappy food for a few days and then I will make a recipe that we can all eat. I am trying to build up few recipes that they will eat so I can eventually move in that direction. It’s going to be a long haul. But things don’t change over night.
I have also been getting Rob out to walk with me. he needs to exercise as well. So that has been good. The kids will sometimes join us as well. We went up Beezley together a few times. Preston even ran into a rattle snake…….I am glad I was behind. My guys handle all of that stuff so well. I enjoy the time. I don’t answer my phone or emails during that time. I have them alone and I can just talk to them and engage in a real conversation. I sometimes have one of them alone during a walk…and it’s good bonding time.
So the rewards of this WLJ are exponential. It’s amazing how much has changed in such a short amount of time as far as my disposition. My family time. Ect.
Some Non-Scale Victories are that I am 2 sizes down in jeans. I can actually wear jeans all day without having to change into my PJ’s. I used to change my clothes as soon as I got home because wearing jeans was uncomfortable. I would have never sat in my jeans and watched TV. I didn’t really realize that before surgery. I noticed after surgery while I was sitting on the couch late at night and I wasn’t in Pj’s.
I also sit cross legged now. It was just a natural thing I was doing one day. Ummmm, Big girls don’t do that. Before surgery I would have to pull my leg up just to put on my socks. Now I can move my legs on their own.
I look for reasons to add in a walk here or there. I dropped my car off to get detailed and I walked home after dropping it off…I also walked over to pick it up. It’s 1.5 miles each way. 3 miles added in…yay!
I can also wrap a normal sized towel around me. That’s a victory!
I am also having to be in touch with my body. I am not an athlete. I am very uncoordinated. I am sure I have shared this before. But I actually have to pay attention to how my body feels. I can’t numb it anymore. Due to the fact that I was an abused child and I had to “keep secrets” I could suffer tremendous abuse and nobody around me could know…I had to carry on a normal day and act like nothing had happened…..I had developed a pattern of shutting off physical pain. I think that’s one reason I could eat and eat and not feel pain. It’s also the reason labor & delivery of my kids was so easy for me. There have been times I have been septic with an infection in my body and I never knew there was anything wrong. It’s a very scary thing. Normal things that could bring down people I still walk around like nothing is wrong. Now I don’t. I am more aware of changes and I am trying to become one with my body again. That’s a very important thing that I am greatful for in this process.
So here are some of the down side. Hopefully all temporary.
- Hair loss. My pony tail is about half the size that it was. I am taking my vitamins and extra biotin. But that just promotes new growth. It doesn’t stop you from losing. I am having to shave areas that I Have never shaved before because the biotin is working. UGH! However. I am thinking the hair loss is a protein issue and a normal part of the process. Everyone says it does grow back…but I have to tell you the shock each morning is painful.
- I am cheap ( somewhat) and I don’t really want to spend a lot of money buying clothes so I tend to wear the same things over & over because It doesn’t make sense to waste money. I just don’t spend alot of time shopping ….so good will would be a great option I guess. But I just don’t get out much. Most of my shopping is online. So for now I am just trading with friends when possible ect. I am thinking I will buy a bunch of leggings & yoga pants until I get to a ore stable size.
- Acid reflux. This sometimes happens to people who have had the surgery. UGH! I didn’t have a problem before surgery..and now I do. I hate taking extra meds for things but that is something I must do everyday to combat that. What a pain…literally.
- protein shakes. I have struggled with this everyday. But it’s getting better.
So there is the good, bad & the ugly. I am still struggling with my own body issues. I see the loose skin coming about…I am viewing that as the scars of my body abuse. I have not fully decided if I will have corrective surgery or not. I will wait to see how bad it is….and how I feel about myself when the time comes. But my patterns of eating have changed and that is a good thing. Sometimes I wish I could see myself as others see me. I Still look at pictures of myself and you don’t want to know what I think…it’s terrible. I need to figure out how to change that and find something good about myself. Hopefully, that will come in time. Why can’t I be vain in one area of my life. LOL I know there are people out there like that…..but then there is me. I guess it’s just who I am. I can’t change everything.
I don’t regret any part of this journey. It all happens in perfect timing. I am glad I went for surgery. I am glad that all of this is bringing about change & results. Not just for the sake of vanity but for the rich journey along the way. All of the lessons I am learning about myself. The weight loss is coming off slow for me in the WLS world…at first I was upset about that. Now I have accepted that and I am ok with it because I know there is a great reason why things have to happen for me this way. If it happens to quickly I could miss the lesson. God knows that I don’t want to go through this again…..so he’s protecting me from myself. 🙂
I hope you all have a fabulous weekend.