It’s been a year since I had weight loss surgery.
How fast does a year go by? Really fast. Some months when I wasn’t losing as much as I wanted to…or get through to the next level that I wanted …those parts seemed to creep by. But overall now that this year is behind me….it’s been fast. Can’t we all say that about any milestone?
So my stats:
My highest weight was 275
Surgery weight was 255
Current weight is 168
YES!! I finally broke into the 160’s after a 4-5 month stall?
So I have lost a total of 107 pounds. My goal is to get to 150. I am not in a hurry. I feel great. I am not stressing about it any longer. In the grand scheme of things even if I stay at this weight I will be happy with my success. Losing 100 pounds isn’t easy surgery or not. Maintaining is the hard part and I have been able to maintain this weight for 5 months or so. So if this is where my body is comfortable in my current lifestyle than I am happy with this.
I started out in a size 22 jean ….and now I am about a 12. Sometimes I can wear a 10 depending on the brand. In shirts I wear a medium or large. Sometimes a small depending on the shirt. It’s amazing how I have to try on clothes now. When you are fat you can just buy whatever and it fits. at least in my body type…round is round. LOL
here are some pics. I want you to know that I didn’t choose the most “flattering” of outfits for these pictures. I wanted to show the “real” image of my body. Not to completely torture myself…but so that I can reveal the true pics of myself. It’s not so easy to see…I have lost over 100 pounds and there are some flaws….don’t get me wrong I am proud of my progress but I am in no way perfect and you can see some of the results of the loose skin and the shape of my body. I can usually disguise it pretty well in certain clothes ect. So just to give a realistic picture of what is happening I had Rob take these pics.
But as a whole when I look back on this journey…..I am thankful for so many things. I think when you get overweight you can make excuses as to why this part of your body aches ect ….you disassociate yourself from your fat. You don’t make the connection of how terrible all of that extra weight truly is. How destructive it is from the inside out and you can justify lots of things to yourself. As each of these pounds came off and I could feel the results of that & I realized that my feet no longer hurt, i sleep better, I don’t need to be swollen all of the time…ect ect. I can easily cross my legs, sit Indian style….all of those things that you slowly lose without realizing it.
Now some before shots:
As each of those things that I never knew I missed came back I realized how detached I was from myself.
Also people close to me have realized that I am no longer going to be as much of a doormat. I am tired of catering to everyone else’s needs and killing myself in the process. Literally, killing myself. Being fat is a slow painful way to kill myself. Why am I sacrificing my body to feed junk to the people around me? It’s not good for them either. So it’s been a fight..on many fronts. I am taking charge of myself and I am not letting anyone take that away from me again. I have worked hard. Beating the pavement and eating clean …..I see the results of my work. I see the results of the people around me. They aren’t operating at full speed because of diet. So i am no longer feeding that beast.
Food is a priority. Just not the way I was prioritizing it. Food needs to be good for you and used in a healthy way. It’s not comfort and it’s not entertainment. It’s fuel and it’s a means of health.
So what is my favorite part of this year, this process or journey? It’s discovering myself. It’s learning that I am in charge of me. It’s freedom. I am no longer oppressed by my weight. I feel confident in myself. I feel free to do what I want in many capacities. I am no longer obsessed with bad food that controls me. I am controlling it.
so that is my journey this far. When i see the pictures I can see how far I have come….but I still see that I need to lose some more. It’s just the way that it will probably be for me…and I am ok with that.
I hope you all have peace in your journey. Let me know if you have any questions. I have zero regrets about my choices …I would do it all over again. totally worth it!