Today marks 6 months since I started this journey. For those of you who are just now here-> I had Weight loss surgery (WLS) June 10th. I have a vertical sleeve. I went to Mexico to have that procedure done because I could not afford it in the USA. I have had zero complications and I am super glad I went. I started this journey 1 month before the procedure. I went on a Pre-op diet to flush my system and I had lost 20 pounds in that first month.
I started at 275 ……it was shocking to me that I had gotten that heavy. I am 5 feet 4.5 inches tall and I would say a medium build.
I also wore a size 22 jeans. an XL or XXL shirt depending on the style-cut-brand.
My Current stats:
I wear a size 14 jeans …some 16’s depending on the brand/cut. I am wearing a large sweat pant.
I wear extra large shirts still. I can wear some larges….it just depends. I kind of like my clothing loose. So I can wear some larges comfortably…I just prefer to wear my extra larges. I hate feeling confined in any clothing. So something that may fit correctly is just not something I want to wear. if that makes sense.
I weigh 198.
So I made the goal of 75 pounds lost (by the skin of my teeth this month) and also hit Onderland. That means I am in the 100’s…even if they are in the 190’s….Onderland is Onderland…and that’s a huge milestone for WLS patients. It’s been 9 years or so since I have seen Onderland. I can’t wait until the weight on my Driver’s license is actually truthful. That will be a huge milestone as well. I have lost a total of 77 pounds.
I struggled with my weight a lot this month. It’s the month that I have lost the least in this whole process so far and it took it’s toll on my mental health. I was getting used to stalls ..my body has stalled all along….but it seems to be happening more often and for longer periods of time. I am trying to roll with the flow but sometimes it gets to me. I love it when you have a formula for an equation and it works out. If you do A+B you will get a result of C. But that is not how this is working for me. There is nothing I can do about it…so I am trying to accept it for what it is. Just wearing a size 14 jeans is such a milestone-> it’s pretty astounding. I don’t have any size 12’s so if anyone is wanting to part with some 12’s so I can be prepared for the next size I will gladly take them. 🙂 I am trying not to buy any clothes until my weight stabilizes because it seems to be a waste of money. I will gladly give them back after I am finished with them if you want them back…or I will pass them on to the next WLS person. I am part of a support group ….so I will just pass them on.
So after I posted my last update I had some goals that I was setting for myself. I wanted to be able to measure my progress in physical activity rather than the scale or clothes size because that was hit or miss….sometimes. I thought, I would need to wait a month and then start Couch to 5K (C25K). C25K is an app on your smart phone that basically becomes your personal trainer. the program is your coach for 8 weeks..and you learn to do interval jogs until you work up to a full 5K non-stop jogging.
I am trying to decide on how I will set my new goals. I absolutely will celebrate 100 pounds lost. I already have the gift to myself picked out. I am buying myself a piece of Tiffany’s jewelry. A necklace. But I am 23 pounds away from that and as slow as the weight loss is I am thinking that I probably need to move to increments of 10 pounds as far as a reward for myself because it’s probably going to take me a few more months to get to 100 pounds of loss. If I have smaller goals I will feel like I am accomplishing more along the way. All of the mind games I have to play with myself to keep going. 🙂
I went ahead and started it that week. I had been walking for a few months and worked up to jogging intervals….on my own. So I thought I could push myself a bit more and start the App. I am so glad I did. Because It’s a good way to push myself & up my game. I am by no means fast….and I don’t really care about my speed. I am just trying to work up to jogging 3 miles without having to stop & walk. There is something to the science with the app…because each week I find myself being able to complete the stages….even when I am scared I can’t do it. It’s been amazing…there are some tough mornings…but I am completing them. That gives me such a sense of accomplishment. Just a few short months ago I got winded walking up my own house stairs and now I am jogging-walking sometimes up to 9 miles a day ( between all of my dog walks and jogging times) it’s pretty amazing!
I have actually completed 4 weeks of that app. 4 more to go …and I will be trained. But I did sign up for a Turkey Trot 5K on Thanksgiving day in Wenatchee. So this will be quite a milestone for me. I won’t actually be done with the training by the time of the race….but That’s ok. I have never run a race. I have signed up for a few and then I didn’t complete them out of fear. I would sabotage myself as soon as I signed up. I am not doing that to myself anymore. NO FEAR!! No SABOTAGING! I am going to complete this race….even if I have to walk some of it. I really didn’t want to have to walk any of it…but these next few weeks will be the determining factor. I am not going to beat myself up regardless. I am just going to do my best and get it done! I find it interesting that the first race I am entering is on Thanksgiving. A day that is Centered & Celebrated by tons of food traditionally. I have never needed an excuse to have food ….celebration or not. But I want this race to mark a new celebration in my life. One in which I celebrate my life & health & my body. I want to change my traditions. This is just the beginning. So even though I am not where I want to be-> I am rolling with the flow of this journey. I am going to race even though I won’t be 100% certain I am ready….I am going to exercise rather than focus on eating all day and I am going to be so thankful for those choices.
I have never -ever been an athlete. Seriously, I am completely uncoordinated with a bat or ball. I don’t really like competing…..I just like having fun. I like being in the fresh air. So I am really liking this jogging thing. I like being outside no matter the time of day…I don’t even care about the weather. As long as I can layer my clothes I will be completely fine. I am investing in some running gear just because I need some warmer clothes for those frosty mornings…and I am trying to find those for cheap…I found some nice tights at costco for 16$ . I am going to try Ross this weekend. I can get away with wearing those for several sizes so I don’t feel bad spending money on a few things here & there.
I am going to go on ahead and start training for a 10K as soon as I complete the 5 K training. I am going to keep setting goals and working towards them. It has been a dream of mine…..for years & years to run a Marathon. It was on my bucket list since I can remember. I just think the time -determination and physical process of that has to be so difficult. It’s inspiring to me. I would feel like I accomplished something mighty if I did that…so it’s a goal. I am hoping to get there someday. But in 2016 I am hoping I can work up to a half marathon by the fall. That’s the goal I am setting for myself long term. But As each milestone happens I am going to celebrate. first a 5K…then a 10K..then a 10 mile then a 13.1.. So I am getting familiar with race schedules and seeing when and where I can sign up & join…and time them for my schedules & training.
I am also going to start swimming. They have lap swimming in the next town over in the evenings & weekends. So I am going to use those times to take a break from jogging..it will be my cross training. I need my lungs to get better and I think that will help. I know I probably need to do some weights….but I just can’t do it….right now anyway.
So now you can see my frustrations with the stalls? I have been eating clean & healthy. I have been exercising more than ever and watching everything…yet my body is still holding on. I am sure there is a reason…even if that reason is simply so I can learn to trust the process. I am learning to trust the process of the progression of my training.
I just want to say that I am not 100% perfect. I have not had any cake, doughnuts, cookies, sandwiches, soda ect for 6 months. But I will admit that I have had some french fries every now and again. I eat them sometimes when we go to Red Robin ( which is rare). But I order a burger in a lettuce wrap and I try to avoid anything that will trigger hunger. Mainly, that is sugar. With the holidays coming around the corner…I am not sure how I will handle everything. I don’t want to take away the traditions of making treats with Clarissa ect. Some of my favorite times with her are cooking in the kitchen….so I will have to tread that territory as it comes along. I am pretty sure I won’t be able to avoid having a piece of our famous fudge or a cookie. But as much as that thought stresses me out……I am just going to go with the flow & see how I feel. Maybe I can just avoid it….but if I do have a piece I won’t beat myself up over it. I will just work out harder and make sure I count my calories. Basically, I just need to prepare myself, make a plan and follow through. I am not eating a whole pan of treats..just one or two. That’s doable. For a food addict like me..that could be a slipperly slope…but I still need to live my life.
There are a few things that temp me every single time I see them or smell them. But so far I have stood strong.
Fresh baked bread….when I walk by subway at the grocery store and I smell that bread baking…..it tempts me.
Chocolate chip cookies. I have not made any because that would kill me.
Carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. This is my most beloved treat. Every Single time I go to Costco I think about getting those cupcakes. Then I talk myself out of it. I want to be successful. IF I want success I have to sacrifice. So those cakes are just going to stay at Costco.
But I practice a low carb-high protein diet.
So much of this weight loss journey is about trust. Trusting myself. Trusting this process. Trusting my body. Trusting my capabilities. It’s not easy for a person like me. It seems to me that my root issues were trust which got me into this situation to begin with…amazing how when you start to unravel the symptoms it all comes tumbling down. With each milestone I have to work on something in each area of my life. Each block has all of these sides….1 side is mental, 1 side is physical, 1 side is spiritual, 1 side is implementation, 1 side is discovery, the last side is sorting it out. ( those are not in order of course)
So I am absolutely changing my life….and implementing a new plan to be successful.
PLease let me know if you have any questions about anything. I am an open book and love to share any info. I know the struggle is real and many of us struggle with our weight no matter where we are in our journey.
I also think I found a plastic surgeon in Mexico that I am going to watch, research and cross reference. Obviously, I can’t afford plastic surgery in the USA. So I will have to go back to Mexico. I won’t take the decision lightly. I watch plenty of Botched episodes..LOL. There are a few girls going to this surgeon in the next couple of months so I can have first hand accounts. So far from the pictures I have seen in the support group I love his results. The women look feminine. Not fake or boxy. I know this is so scary …….and I am looking now because in several cases they are making the patients gain some weight. If I get surgery done I don’t want to lose a bunch of weight and then have to gain weight for surgery. I will just get surgery done before I hit goal weight because I don’t think I can do that to myself. But I am going to think long & hard about all of this. I am not trying to be a barbie doll. I just want to look as normal as I possibly can. After giving birth 4 times, breastfeeding, and gaining 125 pounds….well you can imagine how bad my skin is. My insurance just isn’t going to cover it…..so I need a bunch of stuff lifted. I am not really looking at implants or anything because I am not really crazy about having foreign objects in my body. But I will listen to what the surgeon recommends. I know in some cases implants are necessary….I don’t want to get to personal but in order to be symmetrical again I may have to go that route. 🙂 Which is disheartening. But it goes to show the abuse I caused my body and I will have to deal with things accordingly. I am not scared. Just disappointed with what I have caused. Life lessons.
I hope you all have a fabulous day! Thanks for keeping up on my progress!