Well I feel like I have been a bit absent lately. I don’t know if it is the time change..the gray weather or what…? I have been tired.
I have been a quilting maniac trying to catch up with everything…I did get my new IPAD..yay! I have to try to keep it away from my family at all times though..everyone keeps stealing it.
I keep thinking about my friend Carla turning 40 this last week. I am not far behind her ( like 6 years) but I had heard that life comes together when we turn 40. That life gets better as we get older. I see that Carla is coming into her own..life changes and we start centering ourselves a bit more. I also feel like my life is better now than when I was 20. I mean my relationships just keep getting better..I have the best group of friends in the world..no matter which group I am with ..KWIM? I think we begin to appreciate things more. My marriage gets better each day. There were many rocky years that I didn’t think we would make it..and now I can’t imagine not spending the next ten with Rob.( I say ten because that’s how many we already have) ..I also know the next ten will go much faster..LOL so that always helps right?
So I don’t think I will be sad to turn 40. I won’t be sad to turn 35 this year either. I think I am so blessed in life that each day is such a treasure.
I wasn’t going to share this testimony with anyone…when I first heard it…I needed to really process it.
But you know how at the end of last year when I decided to drop out of school? I wrote that I felt God telling me that “School had served it’s purpose for me” I felt like I needed to give quilting a full time job..and I wanted to spend more time with my family. Well I stress about money. Just like everyone else. It is double the stress when you work for yourself becuase I am relying on the work to come in, I pray to God..and ask him to bring me what I need. He always does.
Well I knew all my school loans would come through and I would have more bills. It is just a stressful thought for me. They all came through I called about them got the bottom line…and then I got another call a few days later. That call had me in tears. I had recieved an inheritance. The amount of the inhertitance? The exact amount of my school loans. How AMAZING Is that? That is God! That is God telling me he will always take care of me..financial…health and otherwise. So I know I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. I don’t believe in coincidences. If I had not quit school when I did…the amount would be different….I wouldn’t have spent that inheritance on loans if it came through while I continued going to school. I am just in AWE about how these things come around. I really have heard other people talking about these things happening in their lives…but to me? I just never expected it. So what do i always write? Expect the unexpected.
So I know school served it’s purpose for me. It gave me confidence..and it made me better. Now that I am not in debt over it…. I feel like I am right where I started which is a nice place to be…honestly. God works out miracles in my life everyday..that just happens to be a HUGE one…that I feel I should share now that I have processed it. I can’t say it enough that it is always better to be on God’s plan than my own. He works out even the minor details.
So I think approaching older age with my faith intact is why I will enjoy my later years much more so than my previous ones. You know I think the old me…Would have felt unworthy to accept that inhertitance. I would have wondered why? But the new me..the one that doesn’t live in fear understands what a miracle it is and I am willing to accept it. God doesn’t bestow those blessings to be wasted. I feel like I can recognize my own growth….because of this situation..my mind didn’t automatically go there..to that bad place of “Now that I have this blessing..what bad thing is going to happen now?” Instead…my mind set is so different..my mind set is ..”OK God what’s my next growth opportunity?” or “Where do you need me?” There is no fear. When you take fear out of the equation…and you just trust… things go so much better..maybe not smoothly..but better..because you know there is a reason and a lesson.
That is sucha hard lesson to grasp? Isn’t it? It is so much better to give up and surrender..I didn’t get it until now. 34 years old. Yes…40 will be so much better!