I shared with you all earlier this year that I have an older Brother, Aaron. He is 8 months older than me…so we both turn 40 in 2017. He was unaware that he was adopted until he was in his 30’s. It was a big family secret within his adopted family and we didn’t know that he existed. So when he found out he sat on that info for awhile until he decided to look for us. I have never had an older sibling and I am so thankful for him….it’s like we have known each other our whole lives. It’s pretty stunning how much alike we are. We laugh at the same things, we have no athletic ability, we like the same foods, and we even like teh same dogs. LOL We have this soul connection that is difficult to explain if you have never experienced that type of emptiness. I knew it the first time we talked and we have talked more days than not since meeting.
Unfortunately, Aaron lost his Dad ( his dad that adopted him and raised him..so in all sense of the word his dad…but we share a biological father we are DNA tested and proven 🙂 ) But due to that fact Aaron came to WA to put his dad to rest. I was so thankful that I got to meet his dad a few weeks ago. I took a spur of the moment trip to Spokane to visit another friend in the hospital and I had been telling Aaron I had this need to meet his dad. I had no idea he would pass like this…but I wanted to meet the man who so lovingly raised Aaron. Aaron always says such great things about him and cares about him so deeply I just wanted to meet him.
I did…His dad happened to be in the same hospital and I went to visit him. He was so accepting and loving. He just hugged me and told me that we were an extended family and we were to make a dinner date for later when he got better. That didn’t happen but I am so glad that I listened to that voice in my head that said “Now is the time” and I had that chance. He touched so many people. I was at his funeral and you could feel the love that he gave to people around him. Of course I knew that already as Aaron is crushed. I wanted to be with my brother to support him during this time.
You just never know what life is going to bring you. During all of this time between meeting his dad and the funeral I found my Bio-father’s extended family back in Minnesota. They are so welcoming and loving. Aaron and I have had conference calls with an Aunt while she fills us in on the good-bad-and ugly of our family. We laugh at the stories and learn our history. They have all been so open, kind and accepting of us. It’s been amazing. I know that nothing will replace Aaron’s dad…but the timing of all of this can only be orchestrated by God. He is gaining new family.
I spent the weekend with my brother bonding. We were so comfortable. We talked-talked-& talked some more. But there was never uncomfortable silence. There was no explaining things…..we knew what we meant when we said something. we laugh at the same things…it’s funny. we went to church with our dad on Sunday. Then we went to visit our Grandma’s grave.
I think it’s stunning how I feel so “full” when I am with my brother. Like my heart is so swollen with love. I have always felt like an orphan and like I didn’t belong. Now I no longer have that feeling. I didn’t know he existed and now he is here and I am full of love, pride, belonging and a host of other emotions. It’s simply amazing. I have prayed for God to help me with those feelings and here he has answered them.
This is our bio-dad. Everyone that knows him says I look like him. But people who know my bio-mother say that I look like her. Who knows?
So the family that adopted Aaron happens to be the same family that includes my 2 besties. They are sisters. We have been friends for 20- something years and Aaron is their cousin. So they grew up with him….We all went to high school together. I know, right? Aaron and I were in the same class and we never knew each other. He says he remembers me…and my fluffy hair. LOL. But I don’t remember him at all. But that isn’t unusual….I don’t remember a lot of people.
But we met 3 of my boys for dinner along with my besties…Aaron’s cousins and had dinner on Sunday before I left back home.
I am so blessed. My heart is so full of love and joy. it’s so difficult to explain. But I think other people who have been adopted or didn’t bond with their family of origin will completely understand. I have 2 brothers now…the one that I grew up and have a relationship with..he and I are bonded for life…and now I have another that I get to start all of these new chapters with….we already have a few trips planned this next year to see each other and I am so thankful. Life is so full of unexpected miracles.