Well it’s Tuesday morning and I am showered, have my day planned and ready to start my day.
I don’t know what I am feeling today ..which is always dangerous for me..*eyeroll*
Is this just a girl thing? I mean why am I like that? Do I deny myself so often that I can no longer recognize how I feel? I am so in tune with everyone around me…but my own self…well clearly I need to pay attention more. Why does everything have to be a process? I am sick and tired of process.
Am I overwhelmed with everything? I don’t think so…I mean I have less on my plate than I have in a long time. I think I am upset with myself for not eating right yesterday…so with that causes physical and mental ailments. Right? But today is a new day and I can’t let yesterday haunt me….so I just need to arm myself with a plan and stick to it. One day at a time right?
I guess I just need to do some research today and find a plan I can handle…..small steps. Then I will have to grocery shop, I guess. another eyeroll
Rob has been having some back issues again because he has gained weight. He said he wants to get on a plan too. The problem with that is Rob can lose all the weight he needs to in 2 weeks and then I am left plateauing and suffering ..he doesn’t like vegetables and generally healthy food. So I told him he will have to eat the healthy food with me….can we say resistance?
It’s one of those commitment issues. Can I commit? Will I commit? Do I have it in me? Can I just take the plunge? Why am I having resistance to something that is healthy for me?
It’s so funny because I have been listening to several sermons on podcasts. How many people do we come in contact with that just can’t surrender themselves to God? We are just holding on to that last little bit? That’s exactly what I am doing …right? I can’t fully just surrender my relationship with food. It is way to comfortable for me…..it is something I need..something I have to have….and it is necessary.
But it is such a weird thing because I will still come in contact with food….I will still need food and I will still like food..I just need a different mindset and healthy mindset.
So this is what I am working out today…this is the process that I am so tired of dealing with.
So until I figure everything out I am going to start journaling my food intake and find out my problem areas. I am a star chart kid.
You know the type? The type that likes lists, to see progress..needs to make the pro’s and con’s list.
Then I am going to make room for my treadmill in my studio. If I have that constant reminder in my studio I can get on it for 10 minutes here and there. That is going to be no easy task let me tell you..I have NO room in my studio..but I have a plan of action. Trust me it will fit.
So small steps.
Little bits of a process at a time is more digestible..right