Thanksgiving 2016

I love that in the month of November many people think about their blessings and what they are thankful each day. I think that is such a beautiful way to remind ourselves of everything we have. I think we need to do that every-single-day….of every year.

This year has gone by so quickly in many ways and so slow in others. The first part of my year was spent traveling back and forth taking care of my Grandma and her house. It was emotional and crazy . She is doing well now living with my aunt in Florida. I am thankful for that.

I am so thankful for my grandmother. I don’t have a big family by any standard….but then when I have to set healthy boundaries and  avoid half of my family that limits my already small family even more. So to think that she was hanging on by a string and we almost lost her this year …well it shook me to my core. I know it’s going to happen someday….but I have a difficult time with loss and I just can’t face it. I have felt like an orphan and that I didn’t belong in my family of origin my whole life….but my grandparents favored me and loved me. She is my only living grandparent. So I treasure her.

God has this funny way of bringing things full circle and meeting my needs and also helping me fill the void. I had many hours praying ……I would stitch next to my grandmas bed…and those late hospital night or late nights at her house while I was in her town. I would beg God not to take her because I didn’t know how I would feel without her….she just loves me. I know that I am not in control and he will take her in his time….but I know he loves me and I will never truly be alone. I am truly thankful for that. I might feel “alone” in a brief moment here and there and then I remember I am never truly alone.

I started seeing my counselor again throughout the year because of my weight loss and body issues…..and I talked to him about how I have been rejected by my family of origin and really started thinking about what family is ….what it means and what purpose it serves. So as you all know …..God brought me more family. I had prayed in those few days that I knew I had a brother…(.but we couldn’t talk until all of the legal stuff had been put in place….) that my brother would be normal. I just wanted a normal brother with no weird issues or drug issues. Quite frankly I just didn’t want any more of that in my life and I had even considered just not talking to him at all out of fear that he would be ill like most of the other people in my family. Now to think of that kills me…I am usually so open to what is out there…but I really just didn’t want to be disappointed again. My hopes were high and Aaron has met them. I am so thankful for my brother. I can’t even imagine my life without him. He is so special to me and we are spending our vacations together next year. I am thankful for that.

You know what else I am thankful for? That I have an older sibling…mind you he is only 8 months older than me….but as a kid I hated being the oldest. I had wished that I had an older sibling….and now I have one. God works miracles folks…he truly does. You know what else I find sweet? I grew up with 3 siblings…I only claim Nathan because the other 2 are depraved, evil human beings and I want nothing to do with them. Well because I have such an unusual difficult name( that I have hated my whole life) my brothers used to call me Sis or sissy…for years. They could not pronounce my name and on top of it we were abused so badly that my brothers both stuttered for the first several years of their lives. So I was referred to as Sissy. Aaron without knowing any of that ->calls me Sis or Little Sis, or Lil Sis. LOL I am so thankful for that. It makes me feel like he has been there from the beginning in some strange way.

I am thankful For my Brother Nathan as well.( I have 2 brothers that I have a relationship with…. I grew up with Nathan. We are 14 months apart. I just connected with Aaron who just found us) Nathan and I survived a terrible childhood together…and we speak the language. We know the dark side of life ….yet we have made it through and we genuinely love each other. We can laugh, and hug and love each other through anything. I am so excited to have 2 brothers and all of us are going to Disneyland in Jan.  Nathan and his partner, Aaron and his family and Rob and I. We are all going to have a wonderful time and I am thankful for that.  

When I think about all of the things I am thankful for it has to do with my family and friends.

I have the best friends a girl could ask for…I truly do. When I think about the people in my life I know that if I needed anything all of them would be there for me….in whatever capacity they could and would.  I have surrounded myself with the best kind of people….and I am truly thankful God has brought them to me. I was watching an interview with Elie Weisel and he was talking about friendship and how we as humans can live without romantic love in our lives…but we can’t live without friendship. I started thinking about that and I believe that is so true. My relationships …near and far just fill me up. I am inspired daily with the soul sisters in my life. I truly am. I have no idea where I would be if it not for the friends in my life. I say that all of the time….and I reflect on that. I am taught new lessons each day, I am loved, I am rejuvenated by my friends. I can honestly say that and mean it.  I am so thankful for my friends.

I am thankful that I am healthy. I am always amazed at how well my body rises to the occasion and performs. I am thankful for my healthy genes and that I also don’t have some of the hereditary illness’ that have struck my family this far.

I am thankful for my children. The trials and tribulations of motherhood have defined me and refined me. I would not be half the person I am today if not for my lovely children. They gave me the opportunity to create a life for them that I didn’t get and I got to live the normal life I had dreamed of.  I had always dreamed that I could just live a normal life….and I did.

I am thankful for my husband, Rob. He fixes my machines when they break down ( even if that is really for his own benefit) and he makes me laugh every single day. Mostly, I am thankful that he wants to love and protect me…he will fight for me…even if its a fight within himself to be the man he wants to be for me. I don’t give him enough credit for that. I am thankful for Rob.

( on a side note…please pray for Rob is you believe..he is having some health issues that I am hoping we can resolve and make him feel better and live better physically) 

I could go on and on about many more things that I am thankful for….food, clean water, Shelter, Living in the USA…..microwaves, cars ect. LOL

We actually don’t really celebrate Thanksgiving day like most…we just make a simple dinner and go to a movie if we find one we agree upon…..other wise we just relax the whole day.  Its an easy-peasy day…and quite frankly I am thankful for that. Not a ton of dishes or entertaining or anything….just relaxation.

I hope you all  have a beautiful holiday. PLease list a few things you are thankful for…it will do your spirit good.

Charisma

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