This is a personal post.
So it’s a funny thing. In the bible sin is sin. NO sin is greater than another. Man puts a degree on sin. That’s why we have courts, juries and correction facilities.
Christians believe that the bible is our guide book. The church should be the House of God and that God should be the correction facility. Sometimes God speaks through our Christian brothers & sisters to correct us & help guide us.However the human condition & the world blur the lines all of the time. Humans have a sinful nature…so when it is we (humans) who operate everything….Well-> lines get blurred.
It’s funny I have spoken of a church family that we have had issues with for the last year. All due to our daughter and her sickness. She is an adult and we are to release her to the world. Which is a struggle because she is our oldest and sick. So we have had quite the time. We originally thought letting her go would be good because she may fall fast and learn her lessons. We were trusting God to take care of her and help mold her. But her new family stepped in to take over for God. They are not trusting God enough to let my child or their own to take care of them and mold them. I have been holding some resentment for this. Why do they get to step in on my child? Why do they think they know better than God? or her her own parents…who God entrusted her too?
We have tried to make amends and have mediation with a neutral party. That has yet to have happened.
I have felt the weight on my shoulders to step down & away because I am having anxiety walking into God house every week. It’s very difficult to let go and forgive when this family is involved in most things and in leadership. They get to do what they want & we are supposed to let it go.
When you are in leadership you should try to abide by biblical principles. I declined leadership because I knew I was holding onto some anxiety & resentment. I am mature enough to know that. However, this family lets two unmarried teens sleepover together and enable them to live a life that is not healthy for them. I was taught that leadership started in the home? When we have tried to talk or hold them accountable it hasn’t gone well. When I am held accountable I own it. I know my faults. Its kind of like my weight….I know what I need to do to get rid of it…..but its still there…right? That’s how this situation has been for me. I have to stare at it each week and pray that it goes away on it’s own. But it’s not going to be because 2 parties are involved. Movement can’t happen unless the two parties can agree to move on & change behaviors.
How is my holding unforgiveness in my heart & not turning the situation over to God different than them taking over for God & letting sin happen under their roof? It’s not. We are all equal.
But the lesson here is that majority rules. Rob & I knew that from the beginning of all of this. Mine & Rob’s story has never changed. We haven’t lied. We haven’t enabled.We have been transparent and honest. What happens when you are transparent & honest is that you open yourself up to be judged. This is how people can tell if you are a “sinner”. If we were to lie and hide everything. Tell half truths…then maybe we wouldn’t be judged.
We are supposed to turn our cheek and keep on keepin on. I am not going to be in leadership anymore. I am OK with that. Its difficult for me to hold back & not be transparent. I have to be transparent. It’s just part of me. I wanted to release this months ago and out of loyalty to man I stuck in…..it seems every choice I make is the wrong one. I get that. I keep hitting my head against that brick wall. I can’t please man…only God. So it feels good to release this role and let go. I should have done that a long time ago.
I also will not be told by anyone that I can’t write what I want on my blog. This is a place that I get to be me. I am not always right. I am not always wrong. I am just real. That’s all I am supposed to be. Sinful me.
As long as I live I will always be a sinful human being. That’s truth. That’s the truth for everyone.
God’s grace covers all of us equally. God created us all equally.
Man made institutions are always going to have to choose sides. I understand. I have had to make those difficult choices myself.
God loves me….I love him.
He will be my leader… He is the only one worthy.