Well I am up early today (5:0o ish) not able to sleep. Which is Ok..I just needed some down time.
Yesterday was a LONG day. We started setting up for the show in the morning..We didn’t finish hanging quilts until about 4….and kudos to my boys and our friends..Honestly these kids worked really hard and I am so thankful to have had them. I don’t think we would have made it because we were all exhausted. But then my kids had their parent meeting and kid night for their summer youth camp program (their summer jobs). So they had to shower and get prepared for that. I also had to go shopping for their youth group fundraiser. I got to the school to prepare all the sandwiches…and Clarissa and I were the only ones. Clarissa (9) is really great in the kitchen and she honestly made all the ham&cheese sandwiches herself….while I was chopping, cleaning and getting the chicken salad ready…but honestly it would have probably taken us a few hours…within a few minutes the Youth group leader and a parent with 3 teens showed up ..we got everything done in 45 minute. I was so grateful….I was just beat tired..and wanted to go home. Mcdonalds was on the menu for dinner because I wasn’t cooking…and I didn’t even want to walk into subway.( those are really our only two choices)
Then we still had to make posters. The older kids left Clarissa in charge of those ( I could just kill them!) She kept waking me up with design or cricket troubles or spelling….I had crawled into bed early …and finally at 10:30 I just asked her to go to bed…..we would finish in the morning. The poor girl was relieved. I think she just didn’t want to let me down….I was trying not to let her down by my frustration cause I thought she wanted to do it all…..so she was more than happy to pick up her mess and crawl into bed herself. LOL..Like mother like daughter ..right?
But getting all of that out of the way..after the quilts were hung yesterday and the realization was there…I started getting cold feet. I am feeling nervous, exposed and intimitaded. I know this is probably normal and it’s all ok..but I hung everything from the beginning to the end..I mean my first quilts..when I didn’t even know what a seem allowance was…or a long arm. The first quilts I long armed….and quilts I long armed recently …it’s quite the body of work…but I have so much invested in my work…and so much LOVE. So much heart. That it’s hard putting it on display like this. After all the work yesterday all I could see were my flaws…..I think this is why I don’t like entering shows..I don’t really like being the center of attention..but on top of it the rejection is difficult. IN this case..my quilts aren’t being judged..so I should have been relieved by it all…but on the other hand..you get to see the beginning of my journey… certainly not the end..because I have a long road ahead of me…I have so much more to learn and try…..that’s the beautiful thing about my work.
So this morning in a way having the time to myself..is GOOD! I can’t just look at my flaws..I can’t look at my work in any negative way…because God brought it all to me. He is more invested in me & my work..he has been refining my soul along with my quilting skills…this body of work isn’t even most of my work…most of my work is out in the world being enjoyed by others. All of those quilts he has inspired me to quilt a certain way..I mean what about Donna’s “Safe from the storm” quilt….I am so thankful for that project….there are so many quilts that I have been a part of that are being loved, used and award winning for others…so I have a small slice of my journey in my own show and I am ok with that. My small town friends and locals will see a portion of my journey. I can’t feel intimitaded when God is in my corner can I? That just seems silly…and trivial. So I am going to hold my head high & know he is there…and all will be good.
So before the show opens today..I will get pictures to post tonight and share my adventures at the show today. I hope you all have a great day! Say a little pray for me.