Planet Of The Teenagers

This is a personal post. đŸ™‚

I am pretty positive that if parents started out with the rough teenage years the planet would die!! There would be no procreation-> any theory that involved procreation or evolution would not exist. It is these days that I am so glad Rob and I didn’t have any more children because the thought of going through any more teenage years makes me want to crawl into a hole and die.

Next year to think I will have 4 boys in high school at the same time is enough to make me want to crawl in said hole.

That being said…..all of these hormonal boys are easier than the one girl we had that has left home. I think that kids these days are so different from when I was a kid…. which doesn’t seem that long ago? seriously. They are all spoiled and entitled. I blame myself for this. We as parents tried to offer them more than we had as children. I just wanted them to feel “normal” unlike I had. I also have made them work for things but somehow I am demonized for that. ugh! I am sticking with my original worth ethic plan because someday they will thank me. I am just sure of it. The only way to get anywhere in life is by having a good work ethic. I firmly believe that.

So although Bryce and I had our rough spots …he and I have come to a better place-> now he is struggling with his dad. It is difficult being on this side of things as well as being the target of frustration. The only good thing that is coming out of this is that the other parent at least knows how it feels to be the target. That being said…..In this difficult time it is apparent what is important to my children. All of the things that should be important aren’t and the minor things are important. I feel like I am on a different planet dealing with these kids.

How can you teach them, take them to church, read to them, guide them and live life with them and they are choosing bad things? Seriously?

By bad things I don’t mean drugs, sex or anything like that. I just mean bad priorities. I could have serious problems…I know. But these are difficult enough for me. Our oldest one left home & starting engaging in those bad activities so I at least don’t have to have it in my home.

I suspect with some of the things we are dealing with that it is just a test of boundaries & loyalties.  But it doesn’t make it less hurtful. It creates doubt within myself. I just have to keep telling myself to focus on the good things.

Bryce is struggling with grades. He has everything turned in…and we are at a stand still but he is making choices and letting his pride get in the way of a few things. We had another talk last night about his future. When we talk about his future is when I actually have hope. He seems to understand  and make sense about those things…but the right now he has short timers and he still has a year left of high school. Seriously? I don’t want to go through this for another year. He has decided that he will NOT get a dead end job and pay his parents rent when he graduates. I am glad about that. I think that is a bad option. So his only other two choices are to go to the military or college.  He doesn’t want to go to college right away. So he has decided military is his choice. He took his ASVAB test….so we are going to get the scores this week. Due to the military cut backs he needs to enroll early and hopefully by the time he graduates they can place him since he is enrolling early.

I am really happy with this choice. I think he needs discipline and direction he will not be able to get from us. I think he will never be satisfied at a dead end job and he needs to get some wiggles out before he settles into life. I think he needs to see other parts of the world before he makes any choices. But I am having a difficult time meeting with responsible recruiters in our area ….they don’t want to go out of their way to meet us in a small town. But the bigger towns can’t talk to us because high schoolers are assigned to specific areas. We can’t seem to pinpoint anyone. So again I reached out to the branches to see if I could get more in-depth info.

This next year is going to test us. again. I am not sure I have this much left in me. I am not even half way through my children.

Carl isn’t struggling. THANK GOD. I am just wondering if he will actually ever leave home. He won’t make a choice until he has to in the split moment.

Cole is T-R-O-U-B-L-E in a completely different way than any of the other kids. He needs acceptance…and constant attention. Mainly from the ladies. I am just sick about this. Especially with the way girls are these days. I will be darned if I am going to pay child support for a baby he fathers. (he is innocent still….but I can see this turning bad with time…if I don’t keep him busy).  I could go on and on about kids these days. I can’t imagine how bad the world is going to get before the end comes…because I am not handling any of this very well. Seriously.  Cole is starting to challenge me and rear his ugly hormones when he feels the need. I am already on a short fuse because I have a strong willed child before him that needs help.

I am unsure how to balance all of this. I felt this way when Jeri was home. Now I am going through these feelings again. I wonder if this ever goes away as long as you have multiple children? I can’t imagine Octomom? There is no easy solution or I am sure a book would have been written about it. Right?

Until then I just have to do the best I can do and be an ER worker….always dealing with the ER at hand….and wait for the next one to come along. I wonder if I can get PTSD from raising teenagers?  I think it’s possible I am just saying.

Please pray for me. I know I will make it through. I am actually more hopeful in this situation than I was/am in the other. I mean with Jeri I knew everything that was going to happen and it is….I could make predictions right now that are going to happen and they will probably happen sooner than I think they will…almost all of them have so far. But with #2 I actually have a higher set of hopes and I think he will have more success because he is at least leading his life.

But it is still difficult to see them falter. It is difficult to watch them suffer and make bad/difficult choices. I hate watching them flail like a fish in dry land unsure of themselves. How does this get easier? How do I take my own feelings out of the situation? I just have to trust that I did a good job. In this case…especially ( more than the last) I have had him since birth…he hasn’t experienced severe trauma. He has had a good life. This is a test for me to watch him rule his own life and lean on who he needs to lean on. My heart just breaks in two.

This must be how God feels about  all of us everyday. I can’t imagine his burden. I have been a willful transgressor. I even know it and willingly do it because I am prideful. Now seeing it in my child? PAINFUL. Seriously painful.

I guess we all need that mirror once in awhile…don’t we?

I cannot lean on my own understanding.

simple & true.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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