I wanted to put this together ( it’s a HUGE queen size) because like everyone else on the planet….I think we are all vulnerable, insecure in some area and it’s difficult to sometimes accept ourselves as we are.
I have a friend in Mexico getting surgery right now….and I have thought about this so many times. I am not brave enough (yet) to have any skin removal surgery. I don’t want breast implants or anything like that . But after losing 100 pounds…I have excess skin ect. I have always wanted a nose job….and I see I am developing a wrinkle in my forehead that is bothersome to me…….You get the idea…I could go on and on about all of the “improvements” I could make. But at what point would that end? ( well the pocketbook would never let all of that happen anyway….but you get the idea)
I am not sure I will ever be the type of person who will just accept myself the way that I am. I can always find something wrong. However, I do realize that I do have more self worth and esteem than I had as a child or a young adult….because I just know there are certain things I won’t accept for myself. So that is proof enough to me that I have grown. I also try to focus on the areas that I do feel more confident in so I don’t get bogged down by the things that make me more vulnerable. I think vulnerability is good and it’s good to let that out. but only in safe areas. I don’t compare myself to super models and suddenly things are great!! LOL
At what age…..at what point in our lives do we just understand that we need to accept ourselves…that we are beautiful and that we have a purpose? I am trying to figure this out. I am trying to understand when this will click and all of the pieces fall into place. I look at my daughter ( I know, I am bias) who is beautiful inside and out. She is insecure, hates her body and struggles with who she is. Some of this is just normal teenage stuff, some of this is due to the massive amount of bullying she has received. I am just at a loss as to how to fix this. I can’t even figure it out for myself and I am suppose to guide and direct her? I feel like I am in the twilight zone.
If I don’t honestly know how to accept ME as I am…and be comfortable in my own skin how do I teach that to her? I just do my best. I take one step at a time to self acceptance and try. So I am.
I didn’t realize until recently just how much she pays attention to every thing that I do. So I am making the resolution to myself to not beat myself up in front of her, talk about all of my flaws or hide from every picture. Yesterday, we went hiking and my selfie game is terrible…but when you are the one holding the camera..it’s kind of the way it goes. Every single picture I took of myself or that included myself, I wanted to delete. I never like any of my pictures. But I didn’t…I actually posted them on Fb and let everyone see every wrinkle…weird selfie ect. LOL It was a fun day that I spent with my Daughter, 2 dogs and my Brother and Brother in law. Just being us.
So in this quilt I made the YOU pink because pink is my favorite color….and I chose a soft print to coincide with that you…it’s a really pretty print with branches little flowers and birds. Honestly, I have been hoarding this print for some time because I just love it. Typically, if I were to choose a pattern that represents me I would choose something loud with tons of textures, colors ect. But let’s just say this is the softer side of me.
I think I am going to list a few of these quilts on Etsy to sell…as well. I love the message and it’s something we should all remember. We need to be ourselves. We are most beautiful when we are ourselves. We are all BE-YOU-Tiful .
I chose this backing because it’s one of my absolute favorites. I actually ordered more because I love it so much.
In my faith this is the day that Jesus rose from the dead. He died for us all. I have to constantly remind myself that he didn’t just die for my sins but also my sorrows.
Sorrow= a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others
MANY years I only focused on the fact that Jesus died because I am a wretched sinner and I will never amount to anything except for being an imperfect sinner. Which is all true…..there is a refining process. I am learning to understand that there is not finality to anything…nothing is ever resolved. You can’t wrap everything up in a pretty box and deliver it to the next person. LOL. **Can I just tell you how much I hate this?** I really love being able to process things put them in their box and being done.
But there is also the fact that Jesus died for my sorrows. I have so many sorrows. The loss of loved ones. The loss of my childhood. The loss of decent parents. The loss of myself at times. Now I am grieving the loss of my family….everything that I focused on for years and years. The fact that I have to watch my children sway in the winds of the world, lost without direction….that is harder than anything I have experienced in my life. I would probably go back and live in my childhood again if I had to choose one pain over another….and I have never said that before. Escaping my life as a child is one of my proudest accomplishments. But the pain of watching grown children make terrible choices is practically unbearable.
I also have the stress. We all have stress. We all have trials and tribulations. My husband had an MRI on his back Thursday…we hear the results on Tuesday. He has been down for 2 weeks. This week he can get up and walk and dress himself..so that is good. We have been in a race against time for him to get a different career path. He needs a job so he can quit using his body so much. So he is attending college full time and working part time in my quilting business. Along with his full time job. When harvest comes around he will not be able to go to school or work with me…in fact if his back isn’t better by harvest he won’t have a job. They will not work around him. I will eat tortillas and beans for years and scrimp and save….we can live. However, we can’t afford medical benefits….so this is the crux of our situation. We could potentially be in a pickle. I can’t stress about this now until we get the results of his MRI and find out exactly what is going on….but he has already had 2 back surgeries…they told us he would eventually need more. Best case scenario at this point is that they can give him a steroid shot or something and he can carry on for another year to get his college degree and move on from his job….we just aren’t in a position currently to afford everything we would need to live….much less pay his college tuition or anything like that if he lost his job. So my sorrows.
When I think about all Jesus has given me and how much he cares about me…I feel overwhelmed with joy, love, fulfillment and the knowing that this will all work out the way it is supposed to. That doesn’t mean the way I want it too….it means the way it is supposed to. I don’t pretend to know or understand everything…but I am leaving this in God’s hands because he knows what is best and he will take care of us. stressing, crying and worrying about it is non productive. So I pray for God to give me Peace. I thank Jesus for sacrificing himself on the cross for my sins AND my sorrows…..I find that comforting.
So as we all celebrate this day..remember that God loves us all..he had to watch his Son die…which had to be the most painful feeling in the world…and he brought him to life again. Jesus willingly sacrificed himself so we could be free…….I am so thankful for that!
Mary sent this beautiful wall hanging. It’s a church panel set in a wintery scene. So beautiful. So I added textures to look like the snow is blowing..the church looks so inviting, doesn’t it? The color palette and everything just makes me feel like it’s a little vintage, comfy & cozy.
I added different designs in each border to bring out each area. and it works up so nicely. 🙂
Thanks Mary! It’s always a pleasure working with you!
I hope your gift is treasured! Your work is always amazing!