So it’s been a year since I started the process! WOWZA! I can hardly believe it.
A year ago today I had started my pre-op diet. which consisted of getting all fake sugars and toxins out of my body. I only ate vegetables, 8 ounces of lean protein a day and a few home made protein shakes. No dairy, no sugars, no fake sugars no grains …..only meat and vegetables. It was difficult but I did it for a month and lost 20 pounds before my surgery.
So for those that are just following along I had weight loss Surgery June 10, 2015. I went to Mexico. for several reasons, but mainly the cost. Even if I had gone through my own insurance they would have made me jump through a year worth of hoops which would have cost me in copays and deductibles and then the surgery itself would have cost me a percentage. Mexico was cheaper in money and time. Oddly enough because I live in the middle of nowhere all of the traveling to see different specialists would have cost me more than my flight to travel to Mexico as well.
My Highest weight was 275
surgery weight was 255
current weight is 170. I have been at this weight for 3 months.
total loss is 105 pounds.
I started in a size 20-22 jeans. Shirts were xl-xxl. and my shoes were all over the map.
Currently, I wear a size 11-12 jean. shirts are all over the map. I can wear a small in some things, mediums in others and larges. I actually have to try on clothes now…kind of shocking. But when I went shopping last week I was kind of shocked to buy mediums and smalls. that doesn’t seem possible? but it is.
So I could be frustrated that I haven’t lost any weight in 3 months….but I am not. I am satisfied with where I am in this stage of the process. I want to lose 20 more pounds over all. But at this time I am ok. my mind and body need time to adjust and I haven’t been eating and exercising as well as I should lately. I keep saying this but I have had some family issues that require my time and finally, i think, I can say now that those are settled and I can get back to my normal routine life. Kind of. I am behind in my work and in the next few weeks I have some family functions that will require time…which I seem to be running short on…everyday. I am sharing all of this to say that “life happens” and sometimes in my reality i can’t focus on myself 100% of the time. I am going to get back into it in the next few days….and it will all work out. The fact that I have maintained is great!
I will say that I really thought I would want to take more pictures of myself and share those…but the truth is that when I see pictures of myself I still pick out every flaw and thing that I hate about myself. It doesn’t matter how thin I get, I will always be shaming myself and I won’t see the beauty that I should see. However, if I don’t see pictures of myself and I focus on how I feel I do WAY better with the body love. I love that I can jog, that I feel powerful, that I can squeeze in places that I couldn’t before. I love that my body is rising to the challenge that I put it up to. I love that I can see my feet and that my rings are loose. Those are the little things that I focus on and it helps me keep going. pictures aren’t doing it for me. I see the loose skin, the wrinkles, the droopy eyes, big forehead, the big nose, the big ears, the small lips….ect I could go on and on and it’s not helpful. So I just tend to stay away from the picture taking…still.
I am a HUGE advocate for surgery because it has helped me tremendously. I look at things differently and I have learned so much. Am I 100%? obviously not. It’s not a cure all and for people in that mindset they are in for a rude awakening…..but i know we are all in our own journey and sometimes we just have to learn some things the hard way. I don’t want to continue to be one of those people. I am trying to learn my patterns and pathology and change it. Learn new coping strategies and learn to love myself. It’s a process. So you can’t just master one thing….you have to master it in every aspect and it’s not easy to change your life. Especially considering that i meet resistance. My family is not very supportive. they think it’s fine if I want to make separate meals and do everything on my own…..but they don’t want to participate or think about themselves…at all. So it’s been a journey.
Diet with them has been an issue all along…..but some of them have gotten better about working out. Poor Rob …he tries but his body is worn out. He hasn’t taken good care of himself and he doesn’t fuel himself well…so when he tries he struggles.
All of that being said…I have started to be selfish about it. I think my voice and concerns need to be considered. If anyone else in my family had health issues that required a special diet I would work within that and join in the cause. So I believe that I should be offered the same consideration. This is really the first time I have stood up, made myself a priority and it’s difficult in the culture of my house.
The only constant thing in life other than God is change. Change is unavoidable. I needed and wanted to make change. If you aren’t receptive to that than weight loss won’t happen. You have to sacrifice. we have to tell ourselves no. we have to change our mindset. We get to change our favorite foods. It’s an opportunity to put ourselves and our bodies first instead of our selfish desires. It feels good.
So that is my update for this month. Nothing that I probably haven’t said before but still wanted to update you all. I will for sure post pictures next month Before and afters. It will be AMAZING! and I am glad to be on this side of it.
I hope you all have an amazing day! If any of you have any questions …feel free to contact me. I don’t mind sharing about my journey at all or helping someone else along the way.