Happy 17th Birthday Carl

I missed his birthday post it was last weekend. I have been crazy busy since getting back from Atlanta. We didn’t forget his birthday, however. He likes things to stay simple.

We took him out to dinner. He wanted burgers so we went to Moses Lake the Friday night before his Birthday and celebrated. By celebrate I mean we just ate and didn’t bring any extra attention to him. which is the way he likes it. So any of you watch “the Middle” on Wednesday nights? That is my family…seriously. When Sue’s Boyfriend Darren thinks he is doing a good thing on the Thanksgiving episode by asking the waiters to sing Happy Birthday To Mike …and bring a cake..the whole family goes into an upset trying to stop it from happening?? I had to laugh because that is exactly how Carl is….he doesn’t want any undo attention brought upon him. He hates social functions and likes his solitude. Growing up in such a big family has helped him tolerate it more….I can’t imagine how he would be if he didn’t have all of us….it would be pretty sad, I think.

Carl is such a good guy. Seriously. He is getting more & more upset with me because I think I am the only one who pushes him. Since Rob also has Aspergers-> I think, until this passed summer he didn’t realize how much worse Carl is with his social skills. I also think that the way I communicate with Carl upsets him sometimes because he doesn’t understand me….and I have to explain myself ….hopefully before he blows a gasket. LOL Once I explain it he gets it…but if he has to divulge to much of himself in one conversation he gets upset…but I am just trying to exercise him because if he is ever going to have a girlfriend or relationship ( a healthy one anyway) he needs to learn to communicate. It’s is really tough being the one to push him I might add…..Neither of us like it. But I know that I am the only one who can stomach it enough to do it. I also know he needs it. It is not anything that comes naturally to him ..being that he is a guy and also has Aspergers. It’s like he has 2 strikes against him. But he doesn’t really understand that. He also doesn’t understand women at all. He is interested in girls & dating..and has tried to reach out to one this year. But the girl quickly realized that they had nothing in common.   I feel bad for Carl because he doesn’t understand that he will have to make concessions & compromise. ( he is the spitting image of his father) Sometimes you have to do things that a girl wants to do as well. Sometimes you have to watch movies that are “emotional” and sometimes you have to “talk”. That’s what girls like. But I guess that will be something he has to learn along the way.

I am extremely proud of Carl. he is currently in running start. Which means he is completing college courses during high school. When he graduates from High school he will also have his 2 year college degree completed and he can transfer to a university as a junior. So he is saving us 2 years of college tuition because this is a state program and they pay his tuition since he has made the program.

Carl also worked in the fields this last summer driving a combine. I can’t say he loved it. Carl in general doesn’t like labor or work. But it worked out because he was alone and didn’t have to have social interaction for the most part. He also had to work very long hours most days of the week. He handled it well. Although every night Rob had to coach him to get him through the next day. Every single night Carl was worried that he might get yelled at the next day. he saw his crew leader yelling at another guy. So he perseverated on that everyday.  It was painful that he was so worried about it. every -single-night- Rob had to talk him down and pep him back up. Then it happened and he got yelled at…once it happened and he handled it well…he got over it. He was really proud of himself. Rob is goo about coaching him with that stuff…after I do that a few times..I can’t handle saying the same things 30 days in a row thinking it’s not going anywhere……I can handle most things if i need to…but Rob is better about that part.

Carl is the most forgiving kid I know. He is the one who doesn’t hold a grudge. Doesn’t keep score. He knows right from wrong and doesn’t not want to cause undue stress on anyone. He likes to play video games and watch movies. He loves You-tube videos. He laughs and has a quirky sense of humor. Sometimes when I am in an adjoining room I can’t tell the difference between his or Rob’s voice. They talk & sound the same. They both complain about the same things and see the world much the same way. It kills me some days. LOL

Carl however gravitates towards healthy food (unlike his father). Carl is also a germaphobe. He is diligent about washing his hands. He literally gets mad if anyone in the house is puking or sick. He is so stressed about getting anything himself. If someone is sick in the house he stays away from them at all times…not in a kind way. Like in an obvious you disgust me kind of way. LOL We all know it and understand him……I can’t imagine how anyone who doesn’t know him will respond when he shows those behaviors. Much like Sheldon Cooper on BBT.

I am so blessed to be Carl’s mom. He has stretched me in ways I couldn’t have imagined. It’s such a blessing to have a forgiving child that loves me despite my flaws and doesn’t keep score. He accepts my apologies and moves on. Much like Christ does.

That is really my favorite thing about Carl.

Carl is also a really great big Brother. He is so nice to Clarissa. Even when she doesn’t deserve it. She is going through hormones right now and she is not nice to anyone. Carl will take her where ever she wants to go..shopping, friends house, library…whatever. He doesn’t expect anything in return. Even if I have told her “No” she will ask him and take her. So she has gotten in trouble for that! Carl is very patient with her even when she doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t tell her that he loves her…but I think she knows it. She says all of the time that Carl is her favorite brother. I think Carl is probably the house favorite because he is so gentle and loving in his way.  He has a soft heart and he hurts easily. He avoids all pain at all costs. I think that’s why he lets go and forgives so easily. It’s really a beautiful quality that he has. I am so proud to be his mom.

Happy Birthday Son. I love you!

Love Mom.

 

 

 

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