Fall Days (err maybe winter?)

Well this week has been Scattered….LOL

I really wanted to relax over the weekend.. just work.Those two words don’t usually coincide. However…I can’t ever relax if I have tons of things looming. Plus I had a class at the shop to teach. So Saturday was pretty gone. Then Sunday I had church….came home ate lunch. Then we started a fire in the fireplace:photo

It was so cozy & nice. Felt nice. But then I started working in the studio. I try not to work on any customer projects on Sundays because it’s a day of rest. But I did work on one quilt. While I was piecing my own and prepping another.  I am trying to get the projects on my cutting table finished up so that when Bonnie Hunter’s mystery quilt starts I can be free from everything else.  But I made this quilt last week.

It was so fast & easy to put together. I like having a project next to the machine that is mindless sewing. So I got into the charm bin again. I didn’t have 500 more…so I got 250 charms in the bin and cut 250 dark brown for a constant. So here is that stack. photo

Then on Sunday night we played board games. It was Clarissa & I along with 7 boys-men. It was interesting to say the least. She and I were the quiet ones. I think she will be the strongest woman I know. ( of course that’s a few years away)

 

It seems like fall just arrived and we got snow? On Tuesday …I think? So I of course raced out of bed and decided to dig up some holes to plant some bulbs….I have been putting that off…for no good reason. I just always have a million things going on. I needed to do that before the ground froze. 🙂

Due to Fb I have a pic of that: photoI know right? LOL I am hoping I can get some more stuff planted this weekend. But I really wanted this new area to be done for spring. After the boys laid the new walkway and all. 🙂

Then I made 5 loaves (worth) of banana bread. photo

It is so yummy!

I have had some parenting trials & triumphs this week. Just like all parents in the thick of parenting.  I was ready to throw in the towel on my teen boys on Tuesday. I am so tired of the teen hormones and entitlement. Sometimes I just want to lock myself in a closet and hide. I will never measure up to their expectations..I will never parent properly..they will never get it. They will never pick up after themselves..be able to take care of themselves….or understand. My parents didn’t parent with intent. They were just surviving moment to moment. Telling us to get out of their hair or to shut up..because we were supposed to be silent…no heard.  I try to parent with intent. In fact most of the time I try to wage what the best choice is in the long run…do I discipline….if so what will it teach them? What do I need to focus on so in the long run they will be productive members of society. I don’t just live each day…thinking that everything will fall into place. I try really hard. But I can only try really hard from my own perspective. My own filter. In my filter…you have to work hard….for what you want. You have to survive the odds and everything has to be intentional. If a blessing comes to you that you didn’t work for….that is icing. You can’t expect it. I don’t have patience for victims. Everyone has a story…..I have empathy and Compassion. I am not saying that….but what I am saying is that we have choices. We can victimize ourselves…..or we can choose to do something with that pain. All the best stories end in triumph because someone made a choice to throw away the victim choice. I truly believe that. Some of my children are victims….I find myself having absolutely no tolerance for it. That’s because my filter says “give me a break…..you have no idea what a rough life is” LOL They don’t…but to them they may think they do..because I make them do chores…and due to being 6 of them…giving them all of the attention they want is difficult. I am trying to make a date each week with one of them so we can have a meal alone and just talk or spend time together. But even with that I will say it’s difficult depending on the shift of hormones. I think at this point all I can do is just be consistent. Be there all the time and reassure them that I am not going anywhere..even if they don’t like me. Those are my current struggles. Just being real.

Where my boys are struggling with problem solving and expecting me to do everything for them…my self sufficient 10 year old , Roo…is simply amazing to me.

She is figuring out things…she is problem solving and not only taking care of herself but she is just a Mamma through and through. She is the youngest so she has never had the responsibility of babysitting or having to take care of anyone. Yet I think she was born to do that. I have told this many times..but she didn’t have babies as a toddler…I only had boys from birth at that point and I didn’t run out to buy her doll. She started taking apples from the kitchen and wrapping them in towels, nurturing them and tucking them into her bed. So I bought her a baby. She loved that baby…the baby is still in her room..chewed on, written on and well worn and loved. She can’t ever part with it when she cleans out her room even now. Well anyway Clarissa takes care of Baby Elias every Monday for an hour or so…..Her and Elias have a special bond. She loves him. She loves carrying him around and playing with him. He has the biggest crush on her as well. During the week Maya ( a first grader) stays the night here…her mom is a single mom that works graveyard. Clarissa has a full size bed..So Maya comes here in her Pj’s and Clarissa takes care of her. They read to each other and  sleep together. Clarissa has a  routine with Maya to make sure they comb each others hair, eat breakfast and brush teeth after they get dressed.  ect. well they have been running late in the mornings so …Roo decided they should get their breakfast done at night so they can take it to go if need be. So she sliced apples and bagged & labeled them for the both of them and put them in the fridge. Great idea. They don’t have to skip breakfast again…and they can take it on the bus if they need. I am so proud of her. Not only that but just because she likes to be in control ( not always a good thing) but also be a mom..she set up a chart system for her and Maya….that way they can mark off their tasks…and with her weekly earnings for taking care of both the littles…she will reward Maya and herself.

I have to say I, myself…love a good chart. I love marking items off my lists and I like seeing my accomplishments. Clarissa is the same way..LOL So I know she gets that from me. She even does that will the calendar in her room. she is not particularly counting down to anything..she just likes marking the days down. I am the same way.

So along with struggling with the teens and having trials..I feel like Clarissa is having some triumphs because she is learning how to manage herself….and others in a constructive way. It makes me think of her future and what I know she will be able to accomplish because she is on the right track.

I know when she starts changing we will have issues too. But I also know that deep down all of this structure will come up again.

Carl is having some struggles too. He has NEVER struggled in school. He is a book smart…..but ow he is so distracted he can’t think properly. Hormones. He is ready to ditch a class because he is failing. He has never failed at anything like that. It’s not that he doesn’t know the work. It’s that he is so distracted with trying to learn how to be social and wanting to rush through things…he is not paying attention or putting time in. I have had to deal with distracted kids for sure. But he is a different case…….I am not really sure how to handle him. It’s new territory and he is really sensitive that I have to be careful. So I need some Godly wisdom with all of that.

To think in 5 years …Clarissa will be the only one home. It will be fast but not painless. So I want to focus on all of the good things.

Winter is almost here and soon so will spring. blink of an eye.

I hope you all have a wonderful week.

Blessings

C

 

 

 

 

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