Today is Cole’s 17th Birthday. I can hardly believe time has passed that quickly.
Cole came into the world very fast…..I was 3 weeks early and wasn’t in that much pain…I walked into the ER asking to be checked…because I thought maybe I was in false labor. I was dilated to 8.5. The nurse asked me to push ..and his head was out…..she told me to stop pushing..I told her “No.” LOL>
Due to that fast birth he had some breathing issues ect and had to be in a bubble for several days. We have always had a good support system and after he came home, all was well.
I remember all of the fears I had about him quickly dissipated and he has always been really strong & healthy. He had asthma as a young one…but other than that….only good health.
Cole is very sensitive, logical and loyal. He is the most hard working, studious and solid kid we have. He finds joy in accomplishing things himself. He likes the feeling of a good hard days worth of work.
One of my most favorite things about Cole is his ability to express himself in a thoughtful way. He has learned to communicate. A few years ago he sat Rob & I down to tell us that he would appreciate more “Atta boys.” He feels that he would perform better if he felt appreciated. Now as a mom-wife-mother…..I appreciate that so much! If you tell me what you need so I can give that to you…please do that. I can’t guess ….I will most likely get it wrong. To get a teenager or a man to be able to communicate that….that is a miracle. His future wife will thank me for that!
Cole also pulled Rob aside to talk to him more recently. When Rob gets upset or frustrated about something he cusses. I hate that. I really do. I have told Rob that he will get no where with me if he starts that…..because I shut down. I don’t cuss at my family. I don’t call names….I just don’t. That’s how I grew up and I don’t like it…at all. Cole told Rob that it makes him feel bad when Rob does that….He would appreciate if Rob would try to work on limiting that. I was proud that Cole felt comfortable enough to do that. Now I can’t say Rob is happy about that. Rob is having to learn how to filter himself in moments when he doesn’t want to….well it’s part of growing up and respecting our families. It’s also a good role-model to show our kids that it’s possible. So that when they struggle…Rob can say “well I did this…so it’s possible for you to conquer _____.” (just a side note. Rob doesn’t focus those words at our kids or anything…..it’s just at the situation ect…I don’t want you to think he cusses at our kids or calls them names…he doesn’t.)
I love that my family can do this with each other. That these things are possible…because I didn’t not have a family where this dialogue could happen.
Cole loves Clothes & shoes. I think holding a certain image and pride in his appearance is what will be his downfall. He has a nice car…and he is probably not the best driver in our house. His car is showing the signs….along with his pocket book. But that’s OK. Lessons are being learned.
The thing that I love about Cole is that he is detail oriented. He always has been. Even as a young child..he would sit back & watch for awhile…make his decision and then try whatever it was that we were teaching him or doing. Bryce never did that…he was the older brother that just dove in with 2 feet and it turned out the way it turned out..good or bad. Cole always had to figure out what seemed like the best option to him at the time & go from there-> because he at least always wants the best for that time. Always. When he was little and still to this day he will say thoughtful things like “Mom, I am always going to remember this day” or “Mom This is so special to me” Or “Mom I really appreciate all of this”…..but because he himself thinks of those little things he recognizes them when others do them….I find that so endearing.
Cole’s Girlfriend and a family friend had a Surprise party for Cole Last weekend. It was so sweet…..His girlfriend even made a cake. It was a Bull’s Jersey with Cole’s name and some other details….Immediately, Cole asked me to send him the picture because I knew he appreciate all of the work she went to to make that cake. It was a nice party and we all had a great time. It was a moment for me..because someone else gave a party for my son. It’s a sign that they are all growing up and I no longer get to control or do everything for them. I am ok with that…but it makes me think ….and I do sort of long for those days when they were little and life was so much easier.
I am extremely proud of Cole…all that he is becoming. Watching him grow into the Solid man that he needs to be. I know that I will never really need to worry about him. He is a solid type guy. He is a middle child and he loves everyone. He wants everyone to feel included and he goes out of his way to be happy and make everyone feel welcome. When he was little my Uncle tagged him with the nicname “Bobble Head”…..because Cole was always happy….bobbin around like a bobble head. That has all pretty much stayed the same. He laughs a lot, he is happy and he hates fighting. He will never go out of his way to hurt anyone intentionally and he tries to be nice to everyone. Even if he really doesn’t like someone..he will be nice to them. Not even everyone in our house has that type of heart. I am proud of that. Cole will also be vulnerable when he needs to be….it’s part of his communication process. I know that is difficult for men..especially in our testosterone laden house…But Cole is a fine example of that.
Cole is also the mediator of the house. Typical of the middle child. He tends to forgive easily and look past people faults. He would rather we all get along. But he won’t compromise himself (mostly) to accomplish that. Which I love. I love that he hold firms to his beliefs. He is very difficult to discipline ( He & Carl Both) because they are pleasers and don’t want to feel pain or hurt anyone. If Cole thinks for one moment that he has disappointed any of his parents..it eats him alive. He’s a typical over achiever and works hard to maintain that. Perfectionist ( which will be his downfall). I totally understand him before he says anything. LOL.
As a mom I think there will never be enough words to describe how it has been to raise up my boys. There is something so special about raising up boys that I never-ever want it to end. I am completely & totally bias…but my boys are handsome, intelligent and to be treasured. I will do anything to protect them and make sure that I have supplied them with all of the skills they need to go out into the world.
A favorite Cole memory……..I was always worried about Cole because he was Bryce’s shadow. There are very few times in their lives when they have been separated or that they haven’t wanted to be together for anything. With Bryce leaving a few weeks ago..it’s difficult for Cole…honestly they have a special bond. They are the 2 closest siblings we have. Cole & Bryce are only 20 months apart in age…but due to where their birthdays fall in the calendar year they are 2 years apart in school. So when I took Cole to meet his kindergarten teacher and do all of the things to prep for kindergarten…It wasn’t even the first day of school….( it was a week before) It was the first time he didn’t have me or Bryce answering questions for him…or telling him what to do. Rob and I stood to the side to let him interact with his teacher and go through all of the testing.
It was the first time I saw him as a boy/man. Not a baby. You know when you raise your kids that you get a glimpse here or there or what the future will hold? Right? I think maybe only parents get this. Well as he was interacting with his teacher….he shook her hand and introduced himself….in a very manly way. He answered the questions thoughtfully and intelligently. I immediately started crying….because I was assured 100% that he didn’t need us. It was the first time I had gotten that glimpse of what a man he would be….and it took me by surprise. I think only Moms get it…because trying to explain that to Rob at the time..he thought I was just nuts. But even though I wasn’t ready for him to enter school..he was ready and he showed me that day.
So it wasn’t some funny thing he said….it wasn’t a funny antic or anything. It was just him. Just Cole being Cole.
I appreciate that.
So I just want to Say Happy Birthday to my dear Son. I love you more than you can imagine. God gave you to me because he knew I would need you in my life. The calm in the storm. Thank you for being you.
Love always & forever, Mom