Cole is the typical middle child. If there ever was a stereo type..he is it. So I have to make this be the best letter ever or I will forever be paying for therapy because he always feels slighted and forgotten and like everyone else was more important …so Here it goes. ( can you hear Marcia-Marcia-Marcia in the back of your mind? That’s how it is around here)
Cole was the second child that I gave birth and he came in fast with one push and not without complications. He has always conquered those complications. Always. He had days in an oxygen bubble….and it was difficult to leave him in the hospital…but he made it through healthy & strong. Now he’s 6 foot 2 and strong!
Once he started walking and talking and getting to be toddler age I could see that he inherited my clumsiness and athletic ability. I thought this would be an issue because his older brother was already competitive and I needed to do something to help refine Cole’s skills. So I enrolled him in gymnastics. He was probably the worst kid in the class and he hated going at first because I made him go without his brother ( this is a common theme in his life…and he still hasn’t learned to trust me ..that sometimes he needs to do things without his brother). Eventually, he got it and it helped him learn how to use his body. Then he developed terrible asthma …like we were constantly in the hospital for days at a time. But God had this great plan…..We met Rob and we moved to a much drier, desert area which I believe helped his asthma greatly. Once he got that under control he started developing his athletic skills even more. It became apparent that he was going to be bigger and stronger with better abilities than his older brother. Cole has always overcome his obstacles…when he wants to put his mind and heart into it.
This was not easy for either of them to accept ( that Cole had developed better skills than his brother). Cole isn’t a fighter and he doesn’t want to go out of his way to hurt anyone. He is a follower and he likes that role for several reasons that I won’t get into right now….but I believe that is really a result of being the middle child…and having a strong willed older brother. All of these things have shaped him into the person he is, good or bad.
Cole has always been a good student and he likes to maintain his wardrobe and personal items. Like his car ect. However, Cole has champagne taste on a Kool-Aid budget and I am not sure he will ever learn to manage his finances. LOL It’s going to be a thorn in his side. Many of my kids are struggling with this…..even though we have taught them otherwise.
Cole has always been a “hands-on” type of learner. He has never had a dream to go to a university and be some scholar. He has always been the type of person who would rather go to school and learn a trade and just work. Even though he is a good student and can apply himself when he wants to…he would rather be in the mud and getting dirty. It’s just how he is. He also has a heart for service….( maybe not at this moment because he seems to be a little lost currently ..senioritis perhaps?). But ever since he was little he has always wanted to be a police officer, fireman ect. He will automatically help someone if he sees a need or is asked ( except if it’s for me…lol) …part of that is because he is a people pleaser and part is just his natural inclination. So he is the kid who would jump in to help with things because he wanted to learn. That will help him go far in life.
As far as how I feel about this beautiful boy…my heart is swollen. It swells every time he hurts, with every success, with every ounce of my being I struggle with letting go. I have been privileged to be his mom. I got to see every milestone, hear every joke, watch his crooked smile grow…I got to see his heart grow and see how he handled conflict resolution. I have also seen him struggle and sabotage himself when things weren’t going as he planned. Every moment is painful….every-single-moment. How do you sum all of that up? How do you write a letter describing the beautiful process of watching your child grow into an adult? How do you explain every single moment that takes your breath away? I can’t. I will just name a few.
Year ago when Cole was about 5 we were making apple pie together…just he and I. He said “Mom, I am going to remember this day forever” I don’t know if he does….But I do. I thought it was the sweetest thing for a 5 year old to say. I know it wasn’t about the pie. It was about our alone time together. Cole has always appreciated that.
Another memory I have is of how he just steps up to the plate in the most unexpected ways. We were having several issues in the house with the 4 boys really dictating the climate and attitude in our house….and in particular how they treated Clarissa, Negatively. Cole came to me after I pretty much had to lay down the law and make his younger brother leave the home. Cole struggled with that transition ( cole struggles with all transitions) but he realized that there were some areas of improvement on his part. He talked to me seriously and said he was going to change his relationship with Clarissa and become more of a mentor and role model to her instead of teasing her and being mean to her. I was so proud of him in that moment because I felt like he was listening and also learning to change and become a better person. That will help him be a good partner in life. Again, he overcomes and adjusts accordingly. This will be a good theme in his life if he sticks to it and works it all out.
There are many memories that we all have of him….but he has a spirit to overcome adversity, work hard and to be kind & serve.
It’s difficult to say Good-bye and help him move to the big city. But I am excited for him to start this chapter in his life. I know that he can overcome anything and he will be better in the end….that’s the theme of his life.
Graduation is just the beginning of his life but the end of his childhood. I can shed thousands of tears about that…..it’s bittersweet. My heart swells with love, pride and hope. I pray for his future and all that he will need to overcome….but with God at his side and his family backing him…I know AMAZING things are going to develop and I can’t wait for that…..:)
I love you, Cole! I hope you have an amazing day….and future!
Love you to infinity and beyond!