Carl’s 19th Birthday

carl-senior-photo-2Today is Carl’s 19th Birthday. Some people may not know this but I didn’t actually give birth to Carl. That doesn’t matter to he or I. I feel like I gave birth to him….he is mine.

Even he will defend that. I am his mom and nobody can take my place. It’s one of my most favorite things about him …He is fiercely loyal to me. To be fair he is that way to all of HIS people. You have to do something very terrible for him to not be loyal to you….and usually over a long period of time because he is really forgiving.

It’s a running talk around here that he is my favorite child. He is. But in all actuality he is everyone’s favorite.  He is the one who wants to keep peace. He will loan you the 20$ you need knowing he probably wont ever see it again…..and he will forgive you anyway. He doesn’t want to cause any pain to anyone.

He is very low maintenance and makes life so easy around him that it’s hard not to appreciate him. He will sacrifice things for himself to make life simpler for everyone else. That is a beautiful thing but also will be his downfall. I say that because the wrong people could really take advantage of him. So I am always hyper vigilant about who he is around. 

This last year has been full of so many changes.   He has graduated from high school and he is finishing some pre- req’s so he can go into a  specific program for mechanical engineering at WSU. He has been taking care of everything himself and keeping things in order. He has aspergers and some things are difficult for him. 

But he started working at wal-mart as a cashier ( of all places) …..and he has been doing such a good job they keep promoting him. When he first got the job Rob and I were thinking we should tell him not to accept it because Carl struggles socially and he hates crowds. But we decided to let him learn by trial and error and I am so glad we did because he is doing such a great job. 

He does get deflated by the end of a shift. So he likes to come home and just veg out without a lot of social interaction. Which is typical for him and perfectly fine.

But the other thing is that Wal-mart is like the hip-happenin place to get dates? Who knew? Girls are constantly handing him their phone numbers. So he has been dating pretty frequently. They are never long term….and on one hand I am ok with that. But on the other I feel bad for him in a way because I know he would like to experience more than a first date.  Its just that young girls aren’t going to understand his social skills or lack of them and learn how to communicate with him on his level. They mis-interpret him. What is funny is that there was this beautiful movie on hallmark that Clarissa and I watched with a man that was kind of like Carl on there……and I didn’t notice it at first because I was lost in the story and said something about how beautiful this guy was and Clarissa said “Mom he is just like Carl.” I said…”Oh you are right.” Clarissa is actually really good at reading people and relating to things like that.

Now I can’t help but think of my son every time I see it. It’s called “The Magic of Ordinary Days” if you ever want to see it. It’s a great heartwarming film.


But like most teenagers Carl likes cars, video games, he can get a little potty mouthed with his friends…but he never talks like that around me. In fact the other kids think that I don’t know he does any of that ….I have caught him swearing when he didn’t think I was around…he apologized immediately. LOL The difference between he and my other boys is that they would just laugh and continue on….Carl has more respect for me than that.. 🙂 I love that about him. Carl likes dark kind of movies …Rob does too. But not everyone can live in rainbows and sunshine land like me….LOL So I get it.

My hopes ans dreams rest high for Carl. He is genius smart, kind and loyal …all of those things will get him far in life. This summer will be another transition as we move him to college. I am not going to handle that well.   It may be my most difficult loss…( as far as kids leaving) only because I won’t be there to ease him into campus life. As much as he has relied on me to take care of things for him…and I have had to slowly stop and let him take control of his own life and it has been difficult for me. As much as I want him to soar…part of me will be so sad not to be there for him.

Even now he comes to me when he needs girl advice and I always wait up for him so he can fill me in. Not being there for him to make sure he is OK and not struggling is going to be be so difficult for me. The other kids didn’t want me there all of the time and I trusted they would figure it out. I trust Carl too…but a part of me wants to be there anyway…and it’s time to let him fly. ( well in August anyway) I choke up just thinking about it. 

Anyway … my 19 year old. I love you more than you could ever know. Happy Birthday Son. I am so proud of you and you know that I think the moon of you!

May the force be with you. hehe




6 thoughts on “Carl’s 19th Birthday

  1. How could he not be directly from you? He looks just like you!! So sweet. I wish I could introduce him to my 20yo sweet gd. She would “get him.” She’s so like that too! Thanks for sharing his sweetness with us. God will bring him the “right” girl someday!

  2. Yes…..the two of you certainly resemble each other. He is YOURS, whether you birthed him or not…you have cared for him all his life and this makes you HIS MOM in all respects.
    So, happy birthday young man. May you have many, many more, all good ones!
    Happy Thanksgiving to you, Charisma, and all your family.

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