Today is the day my Son will walk down the graduation isle. I have so many feelings going through my brain & body. I have been trying to sort this out for a long time. I am unbelievably proud. I have so much pride ->my heart has exploded proud.
You all know my story..you know where I come from. It’s just all so meaningful for me.My oldest left in a blaze of glory so we didn’t get the full experience. No party….no nothing. She ruined it for herself and for us. So this time around we get the full experience and I am so grateful for that. It should be celebrated…..it’s a HUGE milestone in life.
But I have much to say…..This is my oldest son and the first child I gave birth too. He is leaving right away. He is going to college and studying to be a teacher. He has always wanted to be a teacher. Always. He has waffled a few times because he knows teachers don’t make much money…and he has lots of respect for our Country and the military. So he thought maybe he should join the military. But then he thought he would just go to school and not postpone it. This could very well change through the course of time….but I have told him, written about it several times ect. He was a natural born leader & teacher. He just is. No matter what he does big or small those are naturally ingrained in him.
A note to my friends & family….I want to say this at his celebration…but it may not happen. If I write it down here it may be seen….or at least my feeling expressed. I am writing the letter to my son…so he will have a copy of it to take with him.
They say it takes a village to raise a child. Its’ true. I would not be the mom I am without my village. My son would not be who he is without our village. My Village isn’t the typical village of family…it’s been a patchwork of friends and mentors. I think we have a pretty great support system for my children. The love, support, experiences, laughs and times we have shared these last 18 years have been phenomenal. There are truly no words to express what I feel for you….whether you have been here for a short or long time…fleeting moments or long….I am thankful. I love you all.
To Landon. Thank you for giving Bryce to me. Without you I would not have him and we shared many experiences together to get him to this point. I love you for that.
To Rob & Jordan. Thank you for CHOOSING to love my son. Step parents are put in difficult situations. I recognize that. Thank you for going above and beyond in your situations and loving our family…not just your spouses. I love you for that.
I just want to make a special note to the Dads. I think every boy should grow up with a father/Dad. My son had 2. They were a team. They really did come together ..put pride aside in this blended family situation and became good, strong , healthy male role models that worked along side my son. That is more than I think the average man would do…..and much for my sons to love up to. I believe that will leave a lasting impression. I believe all of my sons will be good fathers because of both Landon & Rob’s examples. We broke the cycle in my family of vacant fatherhood. Praise be to GOD!
Now a letter to my son.
I just want to say how proud I am of you. You are an AMAZING man and son. This milestone in your life is the first time I can see you as a man and as much as I am always going to see you as my little baby…I am proud of who you are and what journey your life will take.
I talk to you all of the time….but I know I couldn’t say this to you without choking up with BIG BABY tears and fumbling my words….so I am going to write it for you. I know it is no mistake that you are going to study to be a teacher. Even if you change your major you will always be a teacher. I know you…..you were born to be one. I know that because of all you have taught me.
You taught me how to take care of myself-> before you were even born. You taught me what sacrificial love was….nobody can understand that type of love until they have a child. You taught me what it was like to have my heart outside of my body….walking around and getting wounded…and how to heal it. You taught me how to be humble….own my mistakes..I didn’t start off being a good parent, I had to learn with you. It wasn’t always easy on either of us. But I think we always made it through for the better. I made so many mistakes….and you taught me that….I can still try again to be a good parent….that it was never to late. You taught me how to apologize. I have had to apologize to you so many times…..and you have forgiven me. (mostly). You taught me how to value myself more. When I was down or didn’t believe in myself….You believed in me and trusted me. You relied on me to keep you safe, feed you and be your mom…..I couldn’t fail you. There are times when your belief in me kept me going. Thank you for that. You taught me how to control my temper. LOL. Neither of us have gotten 100% on this..but through your guidance ->I have gained lots of testing and I am WAY better on average.
Bryce you have taught me what it is like to love unconditionally. There is nothing you could do in the world to make me not love you. NO matter when we disagree….no matter what you do-> I will never ever stop loving you. It’s just not possible. Please remember that.
I have watched you teach your siblings. Some good things..some bad things. LOL. We all know the stories. But some of the snapshots in my brain will be locked in forever. When Clarissa was a baby and you would teach her something new..you would make her do it 100 times and it never got old for you. You were so excited. It was funny to watch. When you were dancing with Carl in the livingroom before his first formal dance. When you taught Cole how to play basketball & read. When we were all on Preston’s sidelines with his bike…you were cheering the loudest. Of course you have always been the loudest. hehe. So many experiences in our lives have lead you to this path in your life…this moment when you get to start making choices for your life. I can’t wait to see how you live your life.
I know you will be a great father & leader. I just want to leave you with these bits of wisdom. Please don’t take your dads’ for granted. They have been good men to you. You have had the great privilege to have 2 good men in your life that will always be on your side. There are very few boys/men in this world that have what you have. They deserve respect, Always respect them. You need to model their behaviors. You stay with your children no matter the situation..please don’t let their work go in vain. Respect your wife. Put her above yourself.
As your mom….I would just like to say I have done the best of my ability. I know we have a good connection. One of my most favorite things between us is that we can see each other from across a crowded room and we know the love. We have had that since you were little..it has never gone away. There are a few snapshots in my mind ..specific times. My heart swells to think of those. Thank you for being my son. I have been honored to be your mom. Please go into the world knowing that I will always be your number 1 fan.
Love always, Mom.