Hi everyone…well as you can maybe tell I am having a hard time finding the perfect theme for my website. LOL It changes frequently. I like the idea of this one it is called “Morning coffee” I know some of you read my crumbs early in the morning. But I am very girly I love pink…swirls and flowers….but i am just not finding exactly what I want for free…so I may eventually make ( pay to have one made more like) a custom one…who knows.
Anyway My favorite Pastor didn’t preach this morning. Pastor Tommy is my favorite…not that I think Pastor Steve (our senior Pastor) is a bad preacher..I just think I follow Tommy better or something….he speaks my language…he shoots it straight..lots of facts and points. So today sermon was about troubled times, we are guaranteed troubled times and that we will be judged. What do you want God to say about us “Well done, good and faithful servant”…right?
While staying after and having the youth group load food baskets into people’s cars….I was asked to step out and talk to a hurting mother. I won’t go into details about anything of course. I didn’t know anyone involved..but for some reason they were directed to me. I am thankful to do God’s work anytime. Honestly. I will be consumed with this family until they call me for help …I want to be there for her. I would just ask all of you to please pray for this family they have been stuck by a horrible tragedy. I will help and support them through it….but I also need God’s strength, wisdom and help.
However, It makes me re-think what I am doing in my own life.
Am I supposed to be quitting to continue my quilting career. Am I supposed to be pursuing my career in Women’s studies/Social work? Why…How? Am I making the right choices? Rob skipped church this morning..I was half-tempted not to go myself this morning in all honesty. Then I had to wake up Jeri…she didn’t want to go. It would have been nice to stay in bed a bit longer stay in my Pj’s ….then going through the service I thought..I could have stayed home (Sorry Pastor S…no disrespect at all ) but then it happened..this divine meeting. That is why I was supposed to get to church this morning.
But I came home and talked with Rob. I don’t want to be living in tragedy everyday…I don’t think I am wired for it. I can’t read documents about children being raped, abused and women being beaten. I think, the worst thing for me is to get used or conditioned to this type of world/human pain. I think, I would lose a part of me that has so much empathy for the human race. A part of me would die. I have lived 10 lives…honestly. I could identify with this woman. I prayed over her but I had this spirit of doubt…I felt like she didn’t believe in prayer…..but I also think she is so twisted inside out now that it is hard for her to believe anything. SO I want to be a “Good and faithful Servant” and be a light for her. I am getting all the info she needs to contact help.
So not to turn this into a ME, ME, ME situation…but I think is this a sign? Was I supposed to go to school to get enough information and connections to lead people where they need to be? Am I supposed to be the one actually helping them to heal? I have been so focused on one gift…quilting. I love quilting. I love helping people in need. I love “thinking” that I had a hand in making someone’s life better. Does that stem from wanting to do God’s work…or does that stem from the unworthiness that I HAVE to make a purpose for myself?
UGH! This fork in the road. Rob says “Well you are sleeping now” Don’t think you made a bad choice…you are on the right track. I am sleeping more in the last two weeks than I have all year….LOL I slept 8 hours last night. So I am just going to keep with my choice of quitting school. School served it’s purpose …right? I just have a feeling I am supposed to be doing some other work. It will slowly but surely reveal itself.
I hope you all have a GODLY day. PLease pray for me and this family. I truly appreciate it