I have been out of sorts lately. I haven’t been in a routine. I could blame it on lots of things.
Mostly I have been fighting attacks both spiritually and physically. Rob has been home…and although he doesn’t really get in my way….he will be going back to work on Thursday. He and I have had to make some decisions that are difficult. It isn’t enough that we are in the middle of all of this transition and change…but something from the past crept up..and it demands attention. It’s difficult and rests on my shoulders. We have decided what we will do about it..now it’s just a matter of me accomplishing the task. Although, I know I need to do it… I have been procrastinating. It’s going to make me think, dig deep and articulate my feelings in a way that will stretch me. It will be a defining moment for someone else…..and it’s all out of my control. I am never in control..I keep telling myself this. I keep saying this all happens for a reason…and i thought it was over back then..I had no idea I would be going through it all again…and that it would matter. On top of all of that my sewing machine went out. Took it to the shop..it worked for a day and went all out of whack again. Also my Innova ( Venus) got a new motor and hook as well. She has started acting up again..and it’s driving me nuts. So repair man is coming back tomorrow. I can’t seem to get into a groove or routine…so I am not producing as much as I should be….but things happen and I just need to be patient. I have been ripping alot out lately because of my machine..and dealing with tension issues..which is really frustrating. Hoping that portion of everything will be over tomorrow.
Also Church on Sunday was interesting.
Our Pastor is trying to get us to think that when we walk out of the church building..we should consider it a mission field. I like that idea. he is also trying to teach us that God is everywhere..we just need to meet him and work with him. I totally get that. But he wanted to give up our normal worship service and have us all participate in a prayer walk through the neighborhood. The people who could not were to stay back and have a prayer service. I have to tell you I was not excited about this. I love sermons. I love worship. Walking through the community praying? But as much as thought…UGH! I thought …I need to support him. If this is what he feels God is telling him to do..I will go. SO we all gather..we start walking…we stop every block and pray. We pray for addiction, for worthiness, for the saved, for the unsaved…ect. We pray over the schools…over other churches.By this time I am feeling good. I am thinking “Ok this wasn’t so bad.”…then we come across a little Hispanic church that is having their service. Or pastor leaves us..walks into their church and asks if we can pray with them. Then he calls us all over to go into the church. I am walking across the street and I am actually saying “Oh My goodness..this is crazy! We are going to be featured on 20/20 as holy Rollers..that church crash..what are we doing?”
Until I walked across the threshold of that church.Not many of them speak English..not even the Pastor…they have a translator… they hand our Pastor a microphone…and then they ask us all to start praying together. It was not like anything I have been a part of or have seen…it was like being in a foreign country again. Like Haiti or Jamaica…The congregation was praying in their Spanish…we were praying in English and we all became one..brothers and sisters in that moment. It truly was beautiful and I think we were all blessed by the experience. I had tears ..of course. We walked back..with a bit of a spring in our step.
Can I say this was a great experience..sure! But I also feel like Christians are always looking for that “experience” and that we can get far away from the “real” hardships in every day life. We think everything needs to be big and powerful..and we need to “feel” something. It’s not that way…those moments are far and few between..its hard work..it’s a choice everyday to experience God and count our blessings. I won’t be church crashing every weekend. But it is good to step out of our box every now and again and grow. It’s not so bad exposing ourselves..letting go of our pride….and becoming a “Holy roller”. I just know people already think I am crazy..and now I have this added to the list. LOL!
SO I am hoping I can get my act together..get some of these rough spots behind me..so I can get to what I love the most. Quilting. I am still quilting of course…I am just not working up to my potential because there is stuff occupying my mind. PLease say a little prayer for me..if you are willing and able.
Have a great day!